Catching up...

I'm finding that blogging these days is next to impossible...when I sit down to write one (and it doesn't take me long if uninterrupted) Jakob comes in and wants something. I take care of him and then Jeremy wants my help with something...so this blog was started yesterday. I got up before the boys this morning so hopefully I can finish it today ;) 

So we went to Pensacola this morning and met with Dr. Ripps. Our appointment was at 10:30 and we didn't actually see him until 11:35...that's the way these things go. Thankfully they had wifi so I could browse fb and not use up all my phone's data ;) Jeremy just reads sports magazines and he's fine.
I was so nervous this morning. I literally felt like I was going to be sick for a while. Memories of feeling this way last time came flooding back. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control of the whole situation and I want for me what he wants for me. I have to trust. Blindly. It's so hard to let go of the reins even though I understand that I'm not the one holding them. Our human nature automatically wants to think it can control every situation, doesn't it? I know mine does. Linda (the IVF coordinator) came out to see us and the first thing she said is "where's the baby?" I told her he's with grandma and you'll be very thankful he was when you meet him ;) It's kind of an unspoken rule at the RE's office that you don't bring children unless you notify them first and they'll tell you when to come in. I would never want to make someone upset that has been trying for a child and hasn't been successful yet (unfortunately some people don't really consider that). I told her -if- we get pregnant we'll bring him for an ultrasound. Ultrasound day will be all happy people who are pregnant so that will be an ok time for Jakob to come. When we finally saw Dr. Ripps it was like seeing an old friend. He's such a nice guy. He had a student doctor with him I don't know her name but she was nice. He went over all our history (which was from 2007-2008, can you believe it?) once he had talked about OHSS and my post partum pre-eclampsia and hypertension he said "and you want to do this again?' (while smiling) I  told him yes, I've lost my mind and want to do it again ;) I'm glad this time around we know about my thyroid condition so hopefully that will help us stay on top of all the other issues. Dr. Ripps said this time around will be very easy. I started birth control pills yesterday (if you didn't follow through my IVF it's weird but they put you on bcp's to help you get pregnant) in may sometime I will start the lupron shots (that's the small needle) and estrogen patches and then sometime before the transfer I will start the progesterone shots (the big needle) He said this time around I will only need the progesterone every two or three days which is a relief. For me and for Jeremy ;) as he has to give them to me. I have another appointment on Wednesday for a hysteroscopy, which is where they take a catheter with a camera on the end of it and do a "trial run" for the transfer. They make sure everything goes smoothly and also that there's no blockages or issues anywhere. So that's everything that's going on right now. Oh! Can you guess the cost of this whole little episode? Thankfully our insurance will cover the medications (except for the progesterone, which I think is most expensive :/ ) and it will cover visits and ultrasounds. Just the transfer itself will be 2500 dollars. So it's 1/7th the cost of Jakob :) We can live with that. 
I will update again when there's something to tell! Thank-you all so much for all the encouragement and prayers you've already given me. This blog was my sanity last time and I'm thankful to be able to be real and speak my feelings and know that you're supporting and loving me even though you know the real me ;) 
That's all for now...