We're still here...

Well, I had my house (as close to) spotless as it probably will ever be. Our refrigerator had been emptied and we'd eaten all but the salad dressings and other condiments in the door. Jakob's bag was fully packed and ready to go. But we didn't go. Thursday afternoon I started having some issues with my heart. It literally felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. I grabbed my blood pressure cuff and took a reading. 140 beats per minute. That is not good. I laid down and just did nothing for 30 minutes. The reading went down but not that much. After an hour it was 124. The best thing you can do when your heart is going crazy like that is not to stress. It's kind of hard not to stress though when your heart is going crazy like that. By Thursday night I had gone back and forth and back again about whether I was able to make a 10 hour trip feeling the way I did. I knew that it could all go away the next day or it could take 3 or 4 days to fully "recover" from the way I was feeling (that happens sometimes) Thinking about not being able to get in to see my Dr if I needed to only gave me more stress. Jeremy said it was all up to me and how I felt about traveling. I finally made the decision to stay home. I felt bad because we were supposed to leave the next day and I knew everyone would be disappointed. I also knew if I went feeling the way I felt right then that I'd be no fun and stressed the whole time. Thursday night made me glad I made that decision because it was another one of those rough nights. Thankfully I haven't had one in 3 or 4 weeks (until now). Well, that's the reason we're still here and why I won't get to see some of you in the next couple of weeks. We will reschedule our trip. I'm thinking maybe we'll go around Jakeys birthday. Hope you all have a great weekend :)

Uh-oh...

So you know we're leaving to go home on Friday. The other day my landlord e-mailed me and said "hey, we're going to be in town on the fourth of July" meaning they want to come by and see the house (they do this once or twice a year).  I told him we'd be out of town and he asked if he could come in the house and check out the carpet that got replace as well as change some filters on some appliances. I told him that's fine... Now on top of trying to get everything together to leave I've been rushing around trying to make sure the house is spotless. I don't know why but I get so nervous when  they come over but I do. We just asked him if we can have a dog in this house and he said yes b/c we take such great care of the house, so now I want it perfect when they come! I also remembered today that this will be our first 10 hour trip with Jakob wearing undies. (sigh) That means it may be more like an 11 or 12 hour trip. We usually only stop once on these trips now we'll need to stop every few hours. I hope that my bubbie can make the whole trip without any accidents, but we'll see...

Uggghhh!...

So you would think that eating healthier than I ever have in my life as well as cutting out all caffeine and drinking tons of water would give me the best, clearest skin ever, right? (at least that's how I think it should be;) Well, it hasn't. And it's driving me crazy! My face is so broken out. It's those huge under-the-skin things that hurt really bad as well as look awful. They also take FOR-EVER to go away. I literally will not leave the house without makeup. I cannot believe I'm 28 years old and still dealing with breakouts :( I have been using Mary Kay cleansing products as well as their acne treatment cream. It does not seem to be helping at all. I am now looking into other products. I really don't want to have to get locked in to paying monthly for products (i.e. proactive, etc) but I really need something that will help with this stuff. BareMinerals (whose makeup I wear) has this acne treatment that I may try not to prevent breakouts really but to see if it helps them go away faster. I'm really thinking more and more that I need to have my hormones tested. Thyroid can mess up hormones -or- hormones can mess up thyroid. Either way there's something going on here...

If You want me to...

Waiting...

I love this boy! :)

Well, Jeremy talked to the people from Arkansas and they told him they hired someone else. The guy did say though that they got 100 applications and Jeremy was number 2 on their list to hire. As my dad told me the other day every time Jeremy interviews for a job and somebody else gets hired he moves up on the list. The possible move out of this town has fallen through also. Jeremy's boss gave him multiple reasons (which don't really make too much sense) as to why they don't want to move the office. After that Jeremy asked him about just having two offices where he could split time between two places but it would allow him to move to the other town. His boss didn't say no, but he wasn't real enthusiastic about that either. A few people employed by/in Jeremy's same field do exactly the same thing but for some reason they are reluctant to let him do it. We both agreed to drop that idea all together. Long story short we decided that obviously that door is closed for a reason. We always go into situations trusting that if a move is God's will it will happen and if not it won't. We will just continue to wait on the Lord and trust that this is where he wants us for now. It is not easy. Sometimes I just want to move back to our house in NW Florida and leave Jeremy here.-I would never actually leave him here by himself, I would miss him too much, but I feel about that desperate sometimes. Other times (like yesterday) things go very well and the weather is perfect and I feel like I can make it a little while longer :) Jeremy is leaving on July 10th to go TDY to Jacksonville and Palatka (in central Florida) so we've decided to take a trip to visit the grandparents. We will head up on the 29th of this month(!!!) Jeremy will leave me and Jakob there while he goes on his trip and then he will come back and pick us up around the 14th or 15th. That means I will get 2 weeks back home. I am totally excited because summer means we can take Jakob to Rocky Bayou Park and the beach. I think a visit home to some place familiar is what we both need right now

Finished product...

So here's Jakob's art project. I only had to show him once how to paint and he went crazy as you can tell by the globs of paint on the canvas :) I showed him how to make handprints and then he kept putting his hands on the paint and slapping it on the canvas. Paint was splattering everywhere! Would have been a better idea to do this outside but it was too hot! Thankfully I only got a couple drops of red paint on my carpet and they washed right out. The paint I found was watercolor so it did bleed underneath the letters but I think it turned out cute anyway. Nothing wrong with a little tye-dye (lol) Jakob had a huge smile on his face this morning when he took his painting to show his daddy.We hung the picture above his bed. I think as Jakob gets older and the world gets a whole lot scarier for him it will be good for him to memorize this verse and even more to understand that God is in control of our lives and we can rest in him :D

Not so crafty...

I am not a very crafty person. I wish I had a creative mind but I just don't. I realize this in areas of decorating, dressing, just about everything in my life. I did see this project a couple days ago and I thought...hey! I think even I can do that. It's such a cute idea and I'm always trying to think of ways to add some color to Jakob's room b/c we're renting (and hoping to move) so we've never painted his walls. Today we'll be heading to "the big city" lol so I'm going to get all the supplies I will need. I also want to look for large letters that I can paint and spell out Jakob's name on his wall. He had some when he was younger but they don't match anymore :( 

Right now I've got to get busy and figure out which Bible verse I want to do for our project!

Heat wave....

Over the course of only a few day the weather down here went from 80 degrees and breezy (which was awesome to enjoy in the mornings and evenings) to in the 90's and hot and humid. I'm talking walk outside and the sweat just starts dripping off of you after a couple minutes. Unfortunately for those of us with curly hair it means a frizzy mess if you spend any time outside...Makes me wish I had let my hair grow out on my last haircut! Oh well.

The best way to survive the summer heat is by getting in the water! We figured out a little system so Jakob can have his own little waterpark :)

Yes, in case you were wondering we both lathered on the sunscreen. No, we don't want any more skin cancer in this family!

When the slide is wet Jakob just flies off of it. It's fun for him and funny for me to watch

He has learned the theme song from the old Batman and Robin (the one from the 60's or whenever) so he pushes his batman toy down the slide and says  "nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh" "batman!"

No, he's not fussing, probably just tired of me calling his name to try to get a picture. It is so hard to get this boy to sit still for the five seconds it takes to get a decent pic!

When I ask him to take a picture with me he says "cheese" he's so cute!

Keeping me guessing...

Somehow she always seems to be writing my life story...

that's why I love her :) 

Coffee cup waking me up 

 I've got to board a plane

  And fly away sometimes 

I feel like I'm going the speed of light 

 Can't relax I'm moving too fast 

 I want to find the gold but I don't have a map 

 I wish that I could know what You've got in store for me

 I try and try To read Your mind

'Cause I forget that patience is a virtue  

 You're teaching me to hold on tight

 'Cause I don't know how the story ends 

 But I'll be alright 'cause You wrote it 

I don't know where the highway bends 

But I'm doing just fine  

'Cause You're in control 

 Even when I don't know   

Where my life's gonna go 

You're keeping me guessing
 

So slow me down  

Show me around 

I want to see the world That I've been without 

I am here and now  

The future is out of my hands  

 I'm trusting You 

And how You move  

I won't forget that patience is a virtue 

You're teaching me to hold on tight
 

Seasons come 

And seasons go 

But You decide

Yep, they're mine...

So in the last month or so I had begun having a lot of pressure behind my eyes. It always started around 2:00 in the afternoon and by 8 or 9 at night I had such a bad headache I would just have to go to bed. Motrin didn't do anything at all for the pain. Extra Strength Tylenol seemed to ease it a little but the headache was almost unbearable. Of course having had blood pressure issues in the past my first thought was maybe my bp was messed up so I took it and it was kinda low (like 96/63). I called Jeremy's mom (who is a pediatric nurse) and asked her if maybe low bp would cause headaches like this. She said that number is fine for someone my size and weight and recommended I get my eyes checked. I went straight to my night stand and dug out my old pair of glasses (pictured) and put them on. Almost immediately the pressure in my head eased up. I made an appointment with the eye doctor the very next day. At the eye doctors office I was surprised how bad the vision in my left eye is. I have astigmatism(sp?) so seeing as how it's been untreated for the last (?) years it's gotten worse. I really don't remember why I quit wearing my glasses last time. I really don't even remember when I got them. I'm pretty sure it was before Jakob, maybe even pre-IF (infertility) days. I really don't know. Anyways, I asked the doc if I could get contacts, mostly just for Sundays and for my vanity. That way when I go to church or when I go out somewhere and want to dress up I don't have to wear glasses. So far the contacts are doing pretty well. I go back in on Friday and he's going to test my vision again. He says my left eye will need a little tweaking as it's so hard for me to even read some of those letters on the vision chart with the contact in the left eye. I also ordered glasses and prescription sunglasses on Saturday (they're bogo at Eyeglass World :) so they will both be ready by Friday also. Anywho, my loving sister was quick to remind me that this is our slow descent into old age...

 :)