Hello again...

Hello friends! It's been a long time, I know. Life has taken so many twists for me and somewhere along the way I had to stop blogging and just hang on. 
As you all know we've moved back home. Before the move and even probably a three or four months after my health was not good at all. I lost a whole bunch of weight and eventually had to go on three medications for my thyroid. Thankfully I am feeling much better, have gained some weight back and have been able to wean off of much of the meds. I don't know if we have the hyperthyroid "under control" for now or if it's just gone dormant for the time being but I am thanking God every day for this period of rest and that I can enjoy being home and spending time with those I love. 
Being home has been amazing. It is so nice to be around familiar things. Familiar roads, familiar landmarks, familiar history and familiar people. I love going to the store and running into people I know or Jeremy knows. The other day I went to get my hair done (at a new place) and a girl I went to beauty school with was my hairdresser. She got me all caught up on the last 11 years since beauty school! I love that kind of stuff. 
When we moved back into our house it was a little beat up. Not as bad as I imagine renting a house out for 3 years could be but walls were banged up and needed re-painting, there were a lot of holes in walls that needed fixing, the yard was absolutely dead, the only surviving things were the weeds here and there. Along the way we've been able to patch, paint and fix up a little at a time. This last weekend we painted Jakob's room, which I cannot tell you how much joy it brings my heart to see how excited he was about it. This is the first time since he was a newborn that he's had a bedroom decorated just for him. The whole 3 years we were gone he was in someone else's house in rooms painted for their children or only painted white. He keeps going in his bedroom with a huge smile and telling us about his Toy Story stickers on the wall. It is an adorable little boys room. We also have our garden planted (and re-planted) we've had some crazy cold weather here (yesterday it was in the 50's! I know that's not that cold but this is Florida and the middle of April, usually it's well into the 80's by now!) We've fixed up the flower beds out front, all we need to do is mulch and landscape a little more, we've ordered flooring for the living room/hallway. It feels good to fix the place up and put our touch on it like we couldn't when we lived here before. 
We've started attending a new church in Crestview. It is a church plant and only started about two years ago. Jeremy and I joke that God started it just for us :) Believe it or not the most worrisome part of moving home (to me) was finding the church God wanted us to be in. We have learned so much and grown in the Lord in so many ways since we've been gone and I didn't want that growth to stop. When we attended Grace Redeemer we knew right away that we would grow there. Along the way, anytime I've had a doubt about anything it's like God speaks to me through the sermon and quiets my doubts. I was also worried about joining up with yet another new group of people. Would we fit in? Would we be accepted? Sometimes it can be hard to join a group of people (especially a small, tight knit group) but we were instantly accepted and welcomed. It's amazing to me how God has knit our hearts together with this group of people already. We look forward to serving him with our church family. 
I've enrolled Jakob for the fall in VPK. If you're not from Florida VPK is voluntary pre-kindergarten. He will be going 5 days a week to the methodist church in town for 3 hours a day. I know it will help his speech and I'm hoping it will help his attention span also, and I think it will having a structured environment. I am sad that he's starting this time in his life already but I'm excited for him. I will probably shed a few tears on the first day but I'm thankful it's only 3 hours so I can get used to that before he goes to big boy school! They have chapel every Wednesday and prayer every day, they learn Bible verses. I am glad he will be in an environment to help him physically as well as spiritually.  
In other news...we have an appointment next week (Friday) with Dr. Ripps at New LIFE!!! When I called there to try to get an appointment I was transferred to the IVF coordinators (Linda) answering machine. The minute I heard her voice I got the biggest smile on my face. These people are an extended family for us. Linda was so excited to hear from us and couldn't believe Jakob is 3 and a half. I have to admit I have so many emotions about trying again. I am excited to try for baby #2. I'm nervous about whether it will work this time. I'm sick to my stomach to think that we could pay thousands of dollars (we'll find out how many thousands on the 26th) for a chance to have another baby and then it not work, where does that leave us? I'm scared I might have another miscarriage. I'm scared to experience another miscarriage. People don't really talk about what it's like to miscarry a baby but it was a scary experience and very painful. I'm hopeful that Jakob could have a sibling, yet scared to get my hopes up. I guess to sum it up you could say I'm excited, scared, hopeful, scared, ready, scared and maybe add scared! I do think I will probably blog through this attempt also, no offense, but more for my own sanity than for your entertainment. It will go by so much faster than last time. The whole process only takes a month (I think)  I will let y'all know on FB when I've posted a new blog. If you don't want notifications either don't read them or just let me know and I won't tag you anymore. I guess I will update you all after the 26th!