A new day...

Tomorrow when I go to work I will not have my little one's anymore...Yep, they've graduated to the "big kid" class. At least that's what I've been telling them hoping the transition to the 3 year old class won't be too hard on them. I don't want them to have a hard time adjusting to their new class, or new teacher, but I do want them to miss me!!! This class has been so much fun, and I haven't had any one child that really gave me a hard time, so it's hard to let go. Not to mention the fact that I am leaving permanently in August, so I will only have the new kids for 2 1/2 months or so. (and the fact that the new one's are the most screaming, stubborn, fighting group of children that I think I've ever encountered) I'm a little worried about bonding with the new little guys, and I've already had some interaction with a few of them, and I'm also worried about my blood pressure :) -you think I'm kidding, I'm not.- Oh well. It's gonna be a new day, and we'll see what all transpires. We also start our summer curriculum tomorrow, which is "journeying with Jesus." ( I do love teaching at a christian daycare). We have chapel once a week for the kids, and water day where they play in the sprinklers and on the slip-n-slide, summer is usually hectic but fun. I'll write more later and let you know how things went. For now I'm gonna post some pictures of my babies (minus two that were sick) and I'm sure you'll love them just as much as I do. -Me

Difficult news...

My friend Dana went for her ultrasound today. The doctor couldn't find the baby at first, and they determined that the baby had stopped growing. She lost her little one. I am so heartbroken for her. I just wish that someone could take away all her pain and make everything better for her (and her husband, he's just as hurt) I don't understand why God works in the way he does...I won't state my questions, but I'm sure they're the same that most of you would think of. I've been so burdened about Dana, and I know she'll make a great mom, and this is just so crushing to hear this news. Please pray for Dana and Todd as they deal with this devastating news. She trusts God in a way that I can only hope I would if in the same situation. Even trusting God it's hard to hope again, we are human. Pray that Dana will not lose her hope. Pray that God will comfort and uphold Dana and Todd in this very hard time. Pastor just preached about dealing with situations in life, and this is one situation that only God can handle. If you feel led I'd like you to go to Dana's blog and let her know she'll be prayed for. You don't have to explain yourself, or offer encouragement, I don't think she needs that right now, just offer her name up to God...she definitely needs that. Lord, There are no words to say right now, but you understand our tears. You feel our pain. I don't see the big picture that you are working, and that makes it hard to trust. I know that you only want what's best for Dana, and I believe you have a plan to accomplish that. Help us to trust you Lord, even when we don't understand. Be with Dana tonight, and in the coming days and give her a peace that we cannot understand. Thank you for your promise that you work all things for our good, I'm going to hold you to that for Dana and Todd. Thank you for all the blessings of life, and the comfort in the hard times. In Jesus name, Amen.

Two posts in a row???...

Ok, so I had to put up this picture of baby Natalie, isn't she so gorgeous? You can't tell by those chubby little cheeks but she is a long skinny little girl.She keeps her legs and arms tucked up most of the time, but when she streches, she has long arms and legs. She's so cute when she cries cause she sounds like a little kitten, you can barely hear her. Tanya and Anthony are very proud of her, and so are all her other "mommy's" in the church. (right Jill?) Thursday night is Natalie's baby shower, and that will be alot of fun. My mom and I braved the crazy weather on Saturday (it literally looked like hurricane weather) to go to Destin and get a baby gift. It was so hilarious, because we were running to the car, in the rain and the wind blew so hard I was holding on to my umbrella so it wouldn't fly away and all at once both of our umbrellas turned wrong side out... Needless to say we got soaked. It was fun though. After seeing Natalie I am totally amazed at how tiny newborn babies are. I still think of my 3 year olds at the daycare as my babies. I know Jakob may not be as small as Natalie (he is Jeremy's son) but he's gonna be really tiny. I can't wait!!!! Well, I hope you all have a good holiday, I think we're just gonna stay around the house and chill, we've had a busy weekend. If you would I'd like you all to pray for my friend Jaylene. She's had multiple miscarriages, and now she's pregnant again, and had to go to the emergency room for bleeding on Saturday. Pray that the Lord will let her carry this child and have a baby. Thanks everybody!!! Love, -Me

Working all weekend...

Jakob's room is done!!! I am so proud of Jeremy, he worked so hard all weekend and got this done. I really wanted to help him, I hated having him in there by himself, but the room is not big, and even if I sat in the hallway outside the room the paint smell was soooo strong. Thankfully Jeremy's dad came over on Saturday and helped him put up the chair rail and frame out the window (I know the window pic is dark, I can't seem to get it to lighten). It looks really nice. I will put up more pics once we get the crib and furniture set up. I think it's gonna take a few days for that nasty paint smell to go away! I am sooo proud of my hubby though. Good job babe!!!

Double digits...

All I can say is WOOOHOOO!!! We are now under 100 days left until we can meet our little guy. Time sure does seem to be flying by. On the 27th of this month I will officially have 3 months to go.

Baby bump week 25...

O.k., so here's the tummy week 25. I know my arm is in the way (Jeremy pointed that out), but I set the camera timer and put the camera on the shelf and took the picture...Oh well. You can still get the general idea... My stomach is getting big!!! I told Jeremy the other night that I don't even remember my stomach before I was pregnant. It seems like I've had this tummy forever. I think I will miss it when it's gone. It's the only time you can have a large stomach and everyone thinks it's cute. :) What I won't miss too much is Mr. Jakob doing jumping jacks on my bladder, which seems to be his new favorite excercise...

25 weeks...

Me and Jeremy went to my doctors appointment this morning. We sat for about 40 minutes and the appointment only took maybe 15...Oh well. The office closes at noon on Fridays, so I think they try to squeeze in as many people as possible. I officially weigh 140 lbs. which is shocking and kinda made me want to scream out in fright(!!!) I know I'm pregnant, and Jeremy tells me I look like I haven't gained much, I look good (he says), but I've never seen that number on the scale before. I've gained 14 lbs. The doctor told me that was right on target. As long as Jakob is healthy I don't really mind. I do like it that people ask me when I'm due. They can actually tell I'm pregnant now. We didn't have an ultrasound this time, they just used the little doppler to hear Jakob's heartbeat. His bpm was 152, I think that is on the lower side. I don't remember if "they" say the boys heart rate is slower or faster. When the nurse put the doppler on my stomach it only took a couple seconds and then Mr. Jake started pushing on the doppler. He really doesn't like anything pushing on my stomach. (even my maternity waist bands!) It was funny cause he wasn't just moving, he was pushing up on the doppler. Everything is on track and going great. I am starting to feel little cramps two or three times throughout the day. They don't last very long, but it kinda feels like right before I start my period. The doctor says that is fine and pretty normal, as long as I'm not feeling three or four of them an hour, which I'm not. I don't even feel them every day. Next appointment is June 11 and that is my glucose test! (I'm not looking forward to that one) I'm just really hoping that I don't have any problem with gestational diabetes. Neither my mom or Grandma (on mom or dad's side) had problems with gestational diabetes, so I'm hoping I won't either. Jeremy was a big baby and I'm hoping that Jakob won't be too big (my mother-in law really needed a c-section with Jeremy but the base doctors didn't do one and he was very hard to deliver, she's still paying for that!). After the June appointment I go to appointments every two weeks! I cannot believe how fast time is going by. Last night we had the prayer partners meeting at church and Tanya came and brought baby Natalie. I cannot believe how small newborn babies are (Natalie is 8 days old) Looking at her and how sweet and sleepy she was makes me sooooo excited to see what my baby boy is gonna look like and what kind of personality he will have. I told everyone last night, I'm excited to meet Jakob, but I'm also enjoying my pregnancy, I've worked hard to get here! Well, I hope you all have a great weekend. I don't have any plans yet, but I think I hear the beach calling my name lately. :) Love you all. -Me

Answered prayers...

Well, y'all might have already noticed but Dana got her positive pregnancy test yesterday!!! I am so happy for her and so excited for her too. I've asked a few of you to pray for Dana, and now God has answered, and even in the way we wanted him to. Just keep Dana in your prayers, that she'll have a healthy safe pregnancy and that she'll be able to trust the Lord, because even after conceiving you have a tendency to worry...every mom knows that. Love you all and hope you're having a good week. P.S. I'm going to the doctor on Friday, and I'll post after that.

My thoughts on this Mother's Day...

I would like to start out this post by saying that my Mom is in Tennessee this Mother's Day, and I already miss her, and she's only been gone one day. Her and my dad were supposed to go to Tennessee in March, but they got snowed out, and had to come home. She rescheduled and didn't think about Mother's Day, so we've had our good cry about it, and even though I'd much rather be spending Mother's Day with her I understand that they couldn't cancel these plans. I love my Mom so much. She is the most giving, loving, unselfish person I've ever known. My Mom is the "church Mom". We have a church full of military people, alot of them young and away from families for the first time, and my Mom just automatically falls into the roll of mothering most of them. Most of you know, don't ever go to my Mom's house after you've just eaten, because she will make you eat again. Mothering is just her thing. She's just really good at it. My Mom has been my best friend all my life. We have a great time together. Throughout all my journey with infertility my Mom has been there with me. She's driven the hour and 20 minutes to the doctor's office with me more times than you can count. She's held my hand and prayed with me when my heart has been broken. When there were no words to say, and no way to heal the hurt my Mom was there just to support me. When I was in the hospital with my OHSS after my egg retrieval my Mom came to my house, cleaned it spotless and made me dinner so when I got home everything was done. This is the reason I've always wanted to be a Mother. My Mom made being a Mother a very important job. The most important job you could ever have. I hope that I can be even just a small amount of the Mother that she's been, and Jakob will be very blessed. Now, I must thank God for the opportunity he has given me to be a Mother. Even now, when I feel him move I still get kinda awestruck that he is here. There have been a few Mother's Days that I spent in sadness. I didn't know if I'd ever get the chance to be a Mom. We tried surgeries, medications, and IUI's and doctor Ripps finally said IVF is your chance to be pregnant. Wow. My only chance. If IVF didn't work, what was I going to do? I knew that God placed this desire in my heart, to have children, but how would he fulfill it? At that point in my life I wasn't opposed to adoption, but it brings more waiting, more heartache, was that his way? Looking at finances we couldn't afford IVF. Most meds were covered (except the progesterone, which is pricey) but the procedure was not. I just believed that God would provide, and he has. We've paid for about 7 or 8 thousand dollars worth of fertility costs already. We have less than that to go! As time for the IVF came I realized that the doctor could do everything right, I could do everything right, and still I could end up childless. This whole In-Vitro process was still in God's hands. God held my child in his hand. He would do the forming in my womb if a baby was to be born. This was not an issue that I could negotiate, or whine and get my way, or even beg, it was all up to God. I just give him all the glory and all the praise for the most precious gift he has given to me. Now I get to start my journey as a Mother. I know it's not always easy. I think about all the sacrifices my Mom has made for me, and I wonder, can I be that unselfish? Can I give my all to this child the way that he deserves? Can I make him top priority and put my all into raising him to know and love the God I serve? It can be overwhelming to think of. But you know what? I have a little insight that maybe some people who haven't been in my situation may not consider. I know God gave Jakob to me, and I know that it was a miracle, an impossibility, so I know that God will equip me, and make me into the Mother that Jakob needs. God always provides. Thank you Lord for the gift of my son. You have truly given me my petition which I asked of you. Thank you for my Mother. She is one of the greatest gifts you've ever given me. I praise you for the miracles you give to us every day, and especially for my little miracle named Jakob.

throwing up and other random thoughts...

Well y'all, I think I'm a little hard headed, but I'm also learning that I better pay attention to some signals my body is giving me or just shut up and be miserable. Three times now I've eaten a "snack" (a bowl of cereal,etc.) after dinner, but before bed and all three times I've woken up around 11 or 12 o'clock and puked my guts out. The last time was Sunday night, I got home from church, and knew in my mind I really shouldn't eat anything, but I thought, "if I just eat this little snack bag of Cheetos I'll probably be o.k., there's not much in it." I woke up at midnight with the worst stomach ache ever and knew that the food was coming back up. (I don't know why the stomach aches come, but it's happened each time) This time was different though because my stomach ache usually goes away after I throw up, Sunday night it stayed all night. I don't know if I'm having trouble with a certain type of food, but I'm just gonna avoid eating after about 7:00. Now that I've grossed you all out let me tell you about something totally cool that happened on Sunday morning. I was sitting, reading a book, and looked down at my stomach, and saw little Jakob rolling around or something. Later on in the day he was kicking and I guess he's big enough now that you can actually see his movements, my stomach was twitching and moving. It looks really funny, and kinda freaky. Like there's a little alien in there trying to break out. This is the first time Jeremy has really seen evidence of the little life inside me. He's felt him kick faintly a couple times, but now we just sit and watch him kick and move around...it's amazing. That's about it on the baby front. I'm 24 weeks tomorrow.(!!!) People are starting to ask me when I'm due, so I guess I officially look pregnant now. Dana (onestepatatime) had her embryo transfer yesterday, so I'm praying that she'll find out she's pregnant in about a week and a half. It sounds like her embryo's looked great, we just need em to stick! Jillian (committingmywaysuntotheLord) graduated with her A.A. last night from NWF State College, and I'm so proud of her. She's done this as a single mom while working and always being there for Jarred. She's already starting on her B.S. too. Oh yeah, and Kara (who'll always be my "baby" sister) is graduating from high school and with her A.A. shortly. I cannot believe that! She'll be 18 in September. I'm so proud of her, it's really nerve wracking (for the parents) with a homeschool kid because you wonder if you're doing things right, and if your child is learning all they should be. She's gotten A's and B's in all her college courses and y'all have seen her artwork. She's doing great! She should have her bachelors in Elementary education in about 2 years. Well, this has turned into a really long post. I'm very excited about my first Mother's Day. (as a Mother!!!) I'll write more about that later. Hope you all have a great day! Love, -Me