Searching for our tree of life

So first can I say that cleaning just about anything is almost impossible with a nine month old. Jakob has figured out how to open cabinets, and that when you open them there is all kinds of stuff to get into inside them. Now I wipe down a counter, stop and say "no Jakob" and close a cabinet. Wipe down a faucet and say "no,no Jakob" and take the toilet bowl cleaner from his hands. "no Jake, you can't eat that" and roll the toilet paper back up. Yes, as you can see I was cleaning the bathroom this morning. Thankfully all I have left is to bleach out the tub, and there was no way I was attempting that with little man awake. Now I'm going to talk about what's really been on my mind and bothering me lately....I always wonder if I should even talk about stuff like this (because it is private and I don't want to share "too much"), but you all are my friends, and I know you will pray with me about things, and most of the time I feel better once I finally get things off my chest and write them out. (Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have the bleach in the tub, so I am taking care of business while I blog :) lol)...We have come to the point where life is hitting us full force. We have dealt with unexpected issues before, such as our infertility, and the financial challenges that come with the treatments, but we've never really worried about money. I am ashamed to say it, but I've never budgeted before. We've just never had to. Last week I finally had to sit down and write out a budget and things look so horrible on paper. (I think that's one reason why I have never actually wanted to write everything out) Jeremy is making good money, but with the mortgage payment, electric for the house in Florida (and yes, with florida heat/humidity we have to have the air run sometimes, or else we will get mold) plus our rent here in ga, electric for ga we really don't have the resources to make it much longer as things are going now. Now, of course we are hoping this is only a temporary thing. Once we can sell our house everything will be fine. For now though, if anything at all goes wrong, well, not even goes wrong, at this point just normal maintenance on cars and normal things we would need to purchase will push us over our budget. I'm not complaining, please don't take it that way. We've talked about it, and we're trying to decide should we keep trying to sell the house? Should we go ahead and try to rent the house? The real estate market is bad everywhere, from what I hear, but it seems to be really bad in Crestview. We had no idea how slow things were. We cannot have the house for sale for a year or more and be paying the mortgage and it sit empty. Renting could mean that we end up with legal issues if someone doesn't want to pay or if they won't move out. There's also the fear that the house will be damaged if we rent it, and then end up costing us a lot of money later when we want to sell it. Either option has good points and bad. We will be going to Florida in a week or two and meeting with the new realtor and making a decision. Either way we go- renting/selling- we still need extra income coming in. Jeremy has said he will get another job. He often says he feels like he does nothing at work all day long, and he actually said that he would like to get another job and be busy (this would be 3-4 nights a week for 4-5 hours). I am having a hard time not feeling guilty. Number one, he shouldn't have to be getting a second job in the first place. The whole reason we made this move was so he wouldn't have to get a second job, and could be at home with me and Jakob. (so maybe I'm feeling a little guilt and a little selfishness, wanting him to be home) Secondly I feel so bad with him working a second job and me at home the whole time. I feel lazy, like I'm not helping out in a way that I should. When I think about getting a job though, I feel horrible because I don't want to leave my baby boy. I know that this is just temporary, just until the house is rented/sold, so I'm trying not to worry, or have a wrong attitude about it. I have thought of every other possible scenario, but I have cut down all our expenses (except for rent, which we just signed a new 6 month contract, so we are gonna have to try to get out of it) and we still need the extra income for now. I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for us, we are o.k., we've just got to take care of business, ya know? What do you all think? Should I be working to help out, or just let Jeremy get another job? I know that either of our parents would help if we asked, but this is our family, and we need to do this on our own. (mom and mom2, I might be calling you if we get a new place :) I feel like if Jeremy gets another job I need to be super busy and "do my part" but I'm in a one bedroom apartment, with no furniture. Once the laundry's done, and the bathroom's clean and the floors are swept/vacuumed there's not much more I can do...So that's what's on my mind lately. Life is still good. God is in control, and I know that. I'm just trying to submit to his will and trust his way. I surely do hope his will has our house selling in the near future... :0) (lol)