Encouraging words...

So I have to tell you all that I was very encouraged tonight. I found out a lady at church had the same blood pressure issue that I did with her first child. I asked her if she had the problem with her second child and she said no.She was told she'd be on blood pressure medication as she got older, and she has an 18 year old son (I know that's not really that old) and she has not needed any blood pressure meds so far. Sometimes when I think about having another baby (in the future) I have all the thoughts any other mother would have...would I have a girl or boy, would the baby look like me? Other times all I can think of is being in the Emergency room feeling so bad, scared to death that I was gonna die and leave my husband and son behind. I get nervous, and really just feel like I'm gonna throw up. You just don't know how scared I was. I have to remind myself God is in control. God allowed me to get pregnant.I used to wonder if God gave me what I wanted even though it was not good for me just because I begged him so much, and he decided -fine, I'll let you have it and show you why I said no-, but I don't believe that. I believe God (as our earthly parents do) wants to give us good things. God allowed me to go through this for some reason. I do not understand what that reason is, but I believe it. I don't know if I'll ever get over this nervousness I feel when I think of another pregnancy. I'm really just gonna have to pray for the grace and the leading of God to let me know if and when the right time comes. I hope to grow from my last experience and take that with me no matter what type of pregnancy or any other experience that comes my way. God has taken good care of me. I know that he will continue to do that. I have a very special prayer request that I'm not yet ready to share with everyone, but if you'd pray for our family (God knows the request) I would really appreciate it. I love you all and thank-you for your friendship!