My random post...whining included

Well, this weekend starts my most un-favorite time of the year. (yes, there will be whining in this post, so if you don't want to read it you are forewarned) Jeremy's work has a few weekends every year where they have these big hunts. The first hunt is called the "Commanders hunt" and was started for the base commander, who wanted to be able to hunt in places on the reservation that are normally always closed to hunters. The second weekend is a hunt for handicapped people, and the third is for little kids. I know the last two are gonna make me sound like a jerk for disliking these weekends so much, but oh well. Basically starting Friday night they have a briefing for all the hunters, so Jeremy will work till about 10:00. Saturday morning he'll get up about 3:00 and head off to the woods. He'll return Saturday night about 9 or 10 and then do it again on Sunday. It is alot of overtime hours, which we can use with our IVF happening this year, but it's still hard not seeing my husband. Especially now that I'm pregnant, I can't usually stay up past 8:30 or so, I'm just wiped out. He will not have a day off at all for these three weeks. I know it's only 3 weekends, and I tell myself that every year, but every year like clock work by about the Sunday of the second weekend I am crying and having a major emotional breakdown. I was sitting by him last night, as he read a paper for school, and my eyes got all teary and I had to just stop myself from thinking about it, because I was ready to start crying already. I know military people have it way harder, and lose their husbands for weeks or even months at a time. I don't know how they do it, it's definitely not the life for me. Anyways, now that I've complained about that let me move on. I told a few of the kids at the daycare about the baby. A little girl named Makayla (she's six) was sitting by me, and she was so excited, and she said: "you know miss Shauna, sometimes when you have a baby, you need to be married". I laughed and said "Makayla, I am married". She said "WHAT!!!" "how come you never told us that!" We have had conversations about where I live and who I live with and one little boy (Alex,5) even told me he could beat my husband in wrestling, so I know she must have heard us talking about my marriage before, but it just wasn't important, till now. Needless to say it was a very informative and exciting day for Makayla. I really struggled with whether to even tell the kids I was pregnant or not. I'm sorry to say I still worry and struggle with having faith that the baby will be fine and carry to term. I guess it was just so hard to get this baby here that I keep expecting the pattern to continue. You want so bad to be happy and enjoy, yet you want your heart to be gaurded in case something happens. I'm glad I told them though, it seems more real, and they're excited, which helps me put away some of the anxiety and be excited too. I have my first OB appointment on Thursday the 5th of February. I printed off all the new patient forms, which they ask you to fill out before you come in, because they take a while. There were questions like when was your last period, or how long are your periods, and I just have no clue what to put. It has been a year of controlled cycles and "artificial periods" so I don't really remember all those answers anymore. I'm sure when they look at my chart they will understand why some things are blank. I'm glad I'm going to meet the doctor who will deliver my baby, and I'm always glad to have an ultrasound and see the little guy/girl. Oh yeah, on that front, Jeremy is "absolutely sure" it's a boy. Knowing how much he would love to have a boy makes me think it might actually be one, but God knows exactly which child we need, and I know we'll get the right one. I am happy either way, so is Jeremy, but I think he's a little nervous about raising a girl. Well, today's my day off, and I have alot to do, so I'd better quit talking and get busy. Hope you all have a great weekend! Love, -Me