another try

I went to the doctor today. The wait has seemed so long as I was on the birth control pills again. The pills they gave me this time were different than the ones they gave me last time. I had alot more reactions to the pills this time. (hot flashes, mood swings and some pain) Jill was there when the ultra-sound tech was doing the ultra-sound and there were about 3 or 4 cysts on my ovaries. They were about 1-1.5 centimeters. I think anything over 2cm they will stop the cycle for that month. Jill said that as long as the cysts were not estrogen related I could start on the letrazole pills today. -she thought the cysts might be from the new birth control pills- She had to run the bloodwork and call me back last night. So of course I go into worry mode and just naturally know that this is why I had such a hard time on these new pills and now I'm gonna have to wait another 2 weeks while I go on a new birth control. When am I just gonna give it to the Lord and quit worrying? Obviously this is all totally out of my control, as well as the doctors...whether they know it or not. Jill called me about 4:30 and said that the cysts were not estrogen related! Thank-you God and please forgive me. I asked her what the cysts could be and she said that since I developed so many follicles in the last cycle they were probably just left over from that. So today I start the letrazole pills and in about a week I'll be back to the injections. I start this cycle with alot less excitement than I did the last cycle. Mostly because I am now anticipating the bad experiences and the money that goes into this...worrying again! God is a worker of miracles and I just need to trust him. I don't know what kind of work he's doing in me but I know he has a plan, so I will just wait in anticipation of his great plan for me.