Surprises...

I don't know about you, but I love when you forget about something and then you find it again, those are fun surprises. Like when you put a five dollar bill in your pocket and then a month down the road you find it -that only used to happen to me when I cut hair, I always had cash!-. Today I was cleaning out Jakob's dresser, moving 18 month stuff out and I remembered a box in his closet where I had put some 2T clothing. I loaded all the 2T stuff into the dresser. In the closet I saw a big bag of clothes so I got it out to see what size they were. All the clothes were 3 and 4T. They were from one of my little guys in my class at the daycare. These clothes are all Oshkosh and Hartstrings, nice clothes and OH SO CUTE. They also brought back some good memories of a feisty little redheaded boy. I think it will be so special for Jakob to wear his clothes. I always had a little place in my heart reserved only for "my boys" at the daycare. 
Maybe it was a sign of good things to come :)  The only downside to this exciting find is realizing that this time next year Jakob will be big enough to wear a lot of it. Who told my baby he could grow up??? It sure wasn't me!

The end before the beginning...

So me and Amber were talking the other day about how I will read the end of a book to make sure I like the ending before I commit myself to reading the whole thing. It's weird, I know. If you know me very well at all you will know I like reality tv. Not like the sleazy kind, but I love Survivor, Amazing Race, etc. Even with television I will read spoilers and I'd rather know who got kicked off the show before I watch it happen. I guess the reason why I am so freakishly strange about knowing the endings is because I get emotionally invested in a book. I know it's not a real situation/person, but when you read it it seems like it is. Tv shows are kind of the same way. I get so nervous watching Survivor even when I know my favorite person is about to be booted off. Lately I've been wishing that my life was a book, so I could flip to the back and see how the story goes. As most of you know we've heard through the grape vine about a job that might be opening back home at the end of the year. We're really hoping that Jeremy could get the job and we could move back to our old house and all that stuff. If we didn't get the job back home then we are probably going to be looking into moving closer to Fort Myers and where everyone we know lives. We'd really like to get settled somewhere so we can try to have another baby. See, that's the part I'd like to sneak a peek in the back of the book and find out. I was thinking the other day about having another baby, and we've pretty much decided whether we move or stay we'd like to try for baby number two (the beginning of) next year. Being back home there's no hesitation with trying to get pregnant again. I know that our families will be there to support us and they've been through the stress and emotional turmoil with us once before. Not that I think it'd be a cake walk, but I would be all for it. Thinking about remaining here and doing IVF without the support of family nearby, and remembering how hard this whole process is on us (not physically, but emotionally) I get really nervous. I told Jeremy the other day I wish we could just know if the IVF will work or not. As long as we are not actively trying to have a baby there's all these questions in my mind. Will we be able to have another child? Are any of our remaining embryos going to be healthy enough to result in a pregnancy? There's so many unknowns. If I knew the outcome (whether good or bad) I could prepare myself to handle anything that would happen. The hard part is not knowing. I know there's still a good 6 months or more until we would be ready to start the whole IVF process but I still wonder if there will be anyone here I can lean on if/when times get tough. I can just remember days of crying while going through infertility, and I don't want to go through that again, but it's the only way to have the hope of another child. There was a comfort in sharing what I was going through the first time around, but I was sharing with friends I'd had my whole life. Church family was as close as my blood family so I knew that when I had days of crying and I couldn't explain people understood. I have met someone at my church here that has struggled with IF and PCOS but she has decided that it's not God's will for her to be a parent. We can talk now,and empathize with each other's feelings on IF but I don't know that I can share this (IVF) journey with her, I don't know if she will understand or be able to handle listening to what I'm going through.The thought of opening  up such a raw area of my heart to brand new people is daunting to me.I know I need to trust God, but that does not remove the emotional aspect of infertility and trying to get pregnant again. Anyways, that's just some of the thoughts going through my head. Now you know why I like to read the end of the story right from the beginning :) Sometimes it's easier to handle defeat, rejection or pain when you know it's coming. I know that if God let me read my life story before hand I'd never learn to trust him. I'd never grow into the person He would want me to be. Every time these questions pop up I'm just reminded to pray and ask that when the time comes I will trust no matter what. I know one day I will look back on my life and I will know the ending to my story but for now I just have to wait...

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

 

I think that Jakob is going through a bit of separation anxiety. Last week I was gone every night helping out with vbs at church. Jeremy stayed home with Jakey because he (Jakob) had a stomach bug and was not in any mood to hang out with other people. Every day when I would leave he would run to the door and cry for a few minutes. I don't think he understood why I was leaving him. On Monday (last week) Jeremy left for his tdy to Homestead. I was getting over the stomach bug then so I told Jeremy I would head over when I felt better. By Wednesday I felt absolutely awful. I didn't know when I'd feel like traveling. By Friday though I was finally feeling better, I had all of our stuff packed and in the trunk of the car, and it was a lot of stuff. I was bringing toys, books,(of course kids need a lot of stuff anyways) snacks and drinks, -basically we would eat at the hotel for lunch every day and that way we would only have to spend money for dinner- as well as clothes for ten day, diapers, wipes, etc. I was trying to have a good little vacation without spending too much money. Friday around 12:00 Jeremy called and said that they stopped work for the day because of rain. The contractors he was working with were also working somewhere else on Saturday so he was free until Monday morning. We decided that he would come home, I could do his laundry and pack it all up again and Sunday afternoon we would leave for Miami. Jakob was so excited to see his daddy. Saturday night I went out to check the mail and Jakob started screaming. He ran out the door and up to me and grabbed me by the legs and was just crying uncontrollably. The only thing I can figure is that he thought I was leaving like daddy had. Sunday afternoon Jeremy went to work to do some stuff for next week and me and Jakob headed off to Miami. We arrived about 30 minutes before Jeremy. I got most of the car unpacked but Jakob was not doing too well. He didn't want to go in the hotel. I don't think he was liking being in an unfamiliar place. We went to dinner that night and ate some (super yummy) cuban food. Jakob cried at the table. He finally quieted down and we had a nice dinner. At the hotel (when it was time for bed) I laid Jakey in his playpen. He cried and fussed and rolled around but he finally fell asleep at about midnight. Around 2:00 Jakob woke up and just started screaming. I tried putting him in bed with us, he wouldn't sleep. I tried rocking him, he just kept crying. Finally around 2:30 I just decided that this whole trip was probably not going to work out. Jeremy is working 10-12 hours a day in the everglades (6 days a week). It's hot, mosquitos are really bad, he needs rest when he gets back from work. I packed up all of our stuff and headed for home. I was too tired to be disappointed that we couldn't stay. I just wanted to get home and put Jakob in his own bed and let him rest. I have always been happy that we could travel with Jakey. He's always done so well with traveling, but lately it seems like if he's away from his schedule and his element he can't handle it. Now we're here for the next 10 days without Jeremy. Not so much fun, but at least we'll both get some sleep.

(I never thought I could sleep less than when Jeremy's away, but I found out I can!). 

So basically I drove 4 hours to go and have dinner with my husband. Miami was pretty cool. I will have to plan a day trip there...when Jeremy can come...and it will definitely not be an over-nighter!

Mommy and Jake :)

Stomach virus...continued

Jakob decided to share his stomach virus with mommy and daddy. We have been dealing with that all weekend. On top of that Jeremy left today for his TDY. Me and Jakob will probably leave Friday. We'll see. After the stomach bug hit the house I really want to get things scrubbed down and cleaned up. I ordered my dress for Kara's wedding, so that should be here in a few days. Less than four months till my little sis gets married...I'm happy for her, kinda sad I'm getting old (lol) just kidding :)

Stomach Virus...

So we are experiencing our first stomach virus with Jakob :(  On Tuesday morning I woke up and went to make coffee and the whole house smelled horrible, like rotting food or something. I was smelling all over the kitchen trying to figure out what the problem was. As I entered the back of the house the smell was 100 times worse. I opened Jakob's bedroom door and spotted the problem right away. He had thrown up all over his bed. Thankfully most of his food was digested (gross, I know) so really everything just needed to be washed. I scrubbed down his mattress -thank goodness baby mattresses are plastic on the outside!- but it still took about a day and a half with the window cracked to get rid of the smell. He was running a pretty high temp on Tuesday, but thankfully today there's no more fever. Tuesday he would not eat any food at all, he has only eaten a couple bites here and there since then. It is so sad when a little one is sick. He has just been watching a lot of cartoons and laying on the couch

This and that...

I turned on the bathwater today and heard a plunk. It didn't sound like one of Jakob's toys falling into the bathtub, it sounded strange enough that I took a look in the tub (thank goodness!!) and saw to my horror that a tree frog had fallen out of the faucet. I called Jeremy into the bathroom to get the amphibian out all the while trying not to show how horrified I was feeling at the moment. The last thing I needed was a husband who thought it was funny to chase me around the house with a frog. Jeremy stuck the frog on the back porch and declared that he would use it for fishing bait...Amber, you will probably get teary-eyed reading that, I don't know if he actually used it for bait or not ;) 

We are reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp for our Sunday School class. It speaks of reaching a child's heart when it comes to God. We can raise our children to do all the right things, but if we don't reach their heart then we have failed. We're only in chapter 3 but what I'm noticing more and more is just how important our relationship with God is when it comes to our children. What it really all comes down to is how we live our lives. We may know all the correct phrases to say and spiritual attitudes we should have, but our children will be like us. Kind of the whole do as I say type thing. Children know what you believe by your actions, not what you are telling them from your mouth. In some ways that is sooo scary to me. I also appreciated him pointing out that children are not inanimate objects either. It is our responsibility as parents to raise our children as God instructed us, but they also have a responsibility to God to obey what they learn and live for him. I can only imagine as a parent having a child who just won't do right. I can imagine the guilt that would put on a parent, but in the end every person must answer to God for their own choices. Jeremy and I were talking about this book, and it's nothing new. Every person who has been in church for a while knows all these truths. It's the living them out that's the hard part. I am glad to be reading this and reminded of these things while Jakob's young.

Jeremy is supposed to be going for 2 and a half (yikes!!!) weeks to Homestead. See that little red star on the map? That's homestead. Where he will be working is basically in the middle of the state. I was thinking about staying home just me and Jakob, but to be honest I don't really want to have 16 days of contact only with a 2 year old. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but I need some adult conversation! I know military wives do this all the time, but I was not aware that my husband was in the military, oh!, right, he's not (lol). So Jakob and I are planning on going with him. Jeremy has to take a work vehicle, so I will drive our car and me and Jakey will check the place out. I have e-mailed a couple people about vacation homes, but if nothing else we will stay in a hotel. I don't really know what all is in Homestead, but if we run out of things to keep us busy we can always head home. At least I won't be without my hubby for 16 days.

Can you believe Jakob will  be 2 years old next month??? I'm pretty sure we're gonna have to have a Toy Story birthday party (is there anything else?) Amber was telling me how she gets emotional looking at Charlotte's baby pictures and Char's only 3 months old. I know exactly how she feels. I get teary-eyed looking at Jakob's baby pics, because time has flown by, but also my heart just fills with thankfulness to God for giving Jakob to us. There were so many dark days when I thought we'd never get to experience this love. Now he's been around 2 years and I can't remember life without him :)

Still missing my camera...Hopefully I will get a new one before we go on our trip. It feels so weird to blog without pictures...that's why I looked all these up (lol) Anyways, hope you all are doing great, and having a great summer! Surprisingly the summer is speeding by for us. Kara will be getting married in about 4 months! I can still remember bringing her to Rocky Bayou as my show and tell :)

Pictures from Niceville...

The Fam

You can see what Great Grandpa is interested in :)

The grandbabies

Charlotte loves Aunt Shauna- she's talking to me here

Looks like I'm squeezing pretty hard (lol)

Love this girl!

Eating cheetos at Grandpa's

Jakob put himself to bed. We couldn't find him and were searching all over the house, I opened my mom's bedroom door and he had crawled up on her bed and put the pillow over his head and went to sleep.

The stickers on his bum are from my mom's door hanger that somebody made for her. Before taking his nap he had ripped all the stickers off the door hanger (sigh)

Eating trail mix and watching America's got Talent with Puppa

All the sisters

My baby boy

Abi and her nephew

hahaha!

The diva and her mommy :D

Me and my tubs

Charlotte says hi

Nana and Char-J

Me and Char right before she started crying

Eating fruit snacks in the airport

The little people had to come on our trip with us

Introducing Jakob to the joys of Old Mexico

He really liked it!

Chicken chimi-changa old mexico style...mmmm. Me and Jeremy sit around and talk about this meal all the time. Sadly we cannot get mexican food this good in our town :(

You know, you're getting old...

On Saturday I was washing my hair and I hung my head down for a second and when I picked it back up my neck hurt so bad. I have no idea what I did, but something was definitely out of whack. All day yesterday I had to turn my whole body to look at things because it hurt waaaay too much to turn my neck. Is this preparing me for what thirty will feel like??? (lol)  Jeremy told me stuff like that happens to him "all the time" and I always think he's over exaggerating. He told me I'm just getting old : )

Randomness...

 Remember when Jakob took the mop all over my house and bleached out the carpet? Well my landlord is about to have it fixed. I am happy about that, even though I barely notice the spots anymore. The landlord asked me to take pictures of the carpet and send it to him (I'm sure for documentation purposes) and I totally don't want to send them. I told him about the stains, but i'm so nervous that when he sees them they will be worse than he thought. I don't know why it makes me so nervous, we paid our security deposit for that exact purpose, but I don't want them to see it! Oh well. 

 I really miss my camera :( You don't realize how much you use it until you don't have it anymore. I keep forgetting to send my SD card with Jeremy to get my pictures off of it. Y'all have pretty much seen most of the pictures on FB anyways, I'm sure. 

 The other day I was in the grocery store waiting in line...(watching an older couple yell at the cashier in spanish, -and the cashier had no idea what they were saying- but that is a whole other story...) and I got out my keys and Jakob reached for them. I didn't let him have them and he said "key!" I was so shocked that he knew what they were number one and number two that he actually said a word without having to be prompted, so of course I gave him my keys. All day after that I kept asking him to say key and he even said it for his daddy. 

 Jakob is learning a lot of his animal sounds, but a lot of times they all end up sounding a lot alike. Like a little squeak. He loves sheep right now, and when he sees a sheep he says aaaaaaa in a shaky voice. It is really cute.

 Last night Jeremy and I were playing on the wii and Jakob was getting restless. He wanted to play too. We put on wii sports resort and he loves to play swordfighting on there. (another time when I need my camera!) He actually beats me on the first game easily. He will knock me down with 3 or 4 hits. (when he plays he makes a grunting noise as he swings the sword)  In the second game though he gets tired and then he's barely swinging the sword and his little avatar is hitting like a little old man. It is hilarious. I've got to get it on video.

 We are finally(!) getting rain down here in South Florida. All of the ponds near our house were getting very shallow, now they are just about full again with only a couple days of good rain. Jeremy is really enjoying having ponds so close to the house. He is an outdoors type of guy, so most days when he's home he'll go to the pond and fish at least for an hour or two. Sometimes we'll go with him, but when I go I have to chase Jakob around and make sure an alligator doesn't eat him (yes, there are alligators in the ponds, we see them) or he doesn't run into the pond, which he tries to do often thinking the pond is the same as the beach, so it's not quite as relaxing of a time for me. It is fun though. 

 I've slowed way down on potty training. I was talking to Shelly and she said potty training is so  much easier if you just wait until the child is ready. You can try to train them early, it just takes more effort, but it works faster and better if they're ready. So now if I feel I have the patience for the day, and if Jakob is cooperating he will wear undies. If we need to go somewhere and I know I can't be consistent that day, or if he has two accidents in a row and is showing me he's not into the undies on a certain day then I'll stop and I don't stress about it. I would love to not have to buy diapers anymore though! 

 I can't believe there's less than 2 months until my baby boy turns 2!!! Time sure does fly when   you're having fun. 

That's about all I can think of to write about at the moment. Hope you all have a great weekend :) 

-Remember to pray for little Payton. My heart is so sad for her and all she's about to go through. Pray that God will use this situation for good, and that he will give peace to the Bailey's, I know it's gonna be tough for them to be so far away as Payton goes through all her treatments.-