Jakob is sick. Fever of 102.3, pretty yucky cough. A virus has been going around the nursery at church, and I think he finally caught it. He mostly wants to cuddle with mom and sleep. Hopefully he'll get over it quickly

So I went to the doctor today, and he's pretty sure I have pcos. He gave me some progesterone pills to help me start my cycle (for now) and took a lot of blood to test my hormones. I am going again on Wednesday morning and he's going to test my blood sugar and we'll discuss how to get my body back on track. (hopefully regular cycles are in the near future) Jeremy and Jakob went with me today, and we actually got a lot accomplished while in "town"(lol) I felt really bad bringing Jakob with me to the doctors office, but it was a new doctor and over an hour away from home so I really wanted Jeremy to go with me the first time (and we don't have any babysitters just yet).  I can just remember how it feels to sit in that office, your emotions are so out of your control, and then if they had pregnancy magazines, or any magazine with a pregnant girl on the front...uggghh!  Thankfully there weren't a whole lot of people there, I actually only saw one couple, but I wanted to go to them and say "he's an IVF baby." I want them to know they're not alone, and it wasn't easy for me either, but it will happen. If infertility has taught me anything it's all about community. Everything is a little easier when you know someone else feels the same way you do. Anyways, I should know something by Wednesday, I'll keep y'all updated.

On Wednesdays at church we're studying how to deal with lost people who don't believe in God at all, and know so many reasons why they shouldn't (apologetics). Last night the question was "If God is a good and loving God then why is there suffering in the world?" One point was brought up that I hadn't really ever considered. The God of the Bible (our God) is the only one who came to suffer for his followers. You do not find that in other religions. Seeing that Jesus came down and suffered for us, with purpose, you can conclude that there is purpose in our suffering. Now, we won't know what that purpose is until we get to heaven, but we don't suffer in vain. On the way home Jeremy and I were talking about Jesus on the cross. Most people just see a man hanging up on a tree. We know (from the Bible) that Jesus took the punishment of every sin ever committed onto himself when he was on the cross. In our human minds I don't think we can even begin to comprehend the pain that was on Jesus as he suffered punishment for every sin mankind would commit. On top of that his own Father turned his back on him, and wouldn't/couldn't communicate with him. Imagine your child in pain, hurting, even dying, could you just turn your back on them and ignore their cries for help? I know you couldn't, and neither could I. God did that for us. Jesus suffered total separation from his Father. He'd always been in communication with God until the cross. I cannot imagine a life without God. A second without God. It scares me to think of it. Jesus endured punishment without the comfort of knowing God was with him...for us. Wow. I know it's Christmas and the world sees a little baby in a manger. I would like to encourage each one of us to remember that the manger was just the beginning. It was huge, because Jesus Christ left all the glory and comforts of heaven to come to earth for us, but it was not over that day in Bethlehem. Jesus did give us the greatest present ever. He came to earth to die, rise again, and offer us forgiveness for our sins, a personal relationship with God, and a home with him in heaven.       

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

 

Here's a few pictures of Jakob hanging his ornaments on the tree. He actually really liked helping put the ornaments up, for at least the first 4 or 5 and then I quickly lost his attention to something else. His daddy helped for about the same amount of time, then I lost his attention to football. Short attention span seems to be a man thing :) I put out a few decorations around the house, but didn't want to tempt Jakob to getting into too much trouble, so most of them are still out in the garage. We got a real tree this year. This is the first year we've had a real tree since our first year of marriage when we had the Christmas tree that fell over and I vowed we'd never buy one again. You just cannot beat a real tree. They smell awesome and they just look so pretty. The weather down here has been pretty cold. (yes, I know cold is a relative term :) Last night it did get down into the 20's and we actually turned our heater on. The high for today is 64, I think. Perfect weather to remind you that Christmas is right around the corner. I have talked to a couple of you from up north, and let me say a high in the 30's...well, I'm glad it's you living up there and not me. There must be a reason why I was moved back down to Florida (lol). Last night we watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" which is such a cute movie. Even after all the times I've heard it, it still feels so special to hear the story of Jesus birth from Luke chapter 2 especially on television where most people would rather forget about Jesus and all he came to do. It has been a little difficult thinking of things to get Jakob for Christmas. The child really doesn't need much of anything. The things he really needs (like a bookshelf for his tons of books) doesn't seem like a really fun Christmas present. He is really into Toy Story right now. It's all he wants to watch (he brings me the movie all the time) and at my mom's house he was constantly carrying a toy story character around. My mom has bought him Buzz and Woody, and I really wanted to get him Bullseye, but Toy Story is really popular this year and I cannot find the plush bullseye that they released when Toy Story 2 came out. Actually, you can find them, but people are wanting 80-100 bucks for them ( I guess Toy Story is the thing this year), and I'm not paying that. I will wait a while and when they are not so expensive I can (hopefully) get him Bullseye. Other than that I think we are going to get him a little child size guitar, because he always wants to play his Daddys guitar. Some chunky puzzles, because he loves shapes and putting things together. That's about where my list stops right now. We really want to get him a small swing set, but we have to talk to our landlord about that. We'll see. I hope that you are all having a good week and staying warm :) 

A temperature of 37 degrees this morning, some frost on the windshield and a high of 69 for the day, not a cloud in the sky...sound like anywhere you might know? Sure doesn't sound like South Florida, does it? Well it is, and I'm happy :)

We're home!!!

Well, we made it home safely last night. I guess a lot of people traveled for Thanksgiving because the interstate was so congested yesterday. We drove for over half an hour on I-75 going about 20 mph and then got off on the highway (which takes longer) where we could drive a little faster. We had such a great time visiting with everyone. Here are a few highlights:

travellin' man

Niceville football game

exhausted from decorating for the baby shower

celebrating baby Charlotte

yummy food

Thanksgiving football game

Freedom!!!

Jakey and Aunt Abi

visiting with old friends

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running to Uncle Dallas

o.k. Dad, I've had enough fun for today

chillin' with grandpa

watching Toy Story with Buzz and Woody

new pals

me and my family

Jakey with Aunt Riss

relaxed traveller

time for a nap...this boy is just like his daddy!

I was so happy to get to go to a high school football game on Friday night. Even if Niceville stunk it up big time. On Saturday we decorated for Amber's baby shower and we spent some time with Jeremy's parents. Sunday we got to see all our friends at church. I got to hug Jill, which I've been wanting to do for so long! I was so glad to see her looking so healthy. She had a happy glow on her face, and I'm glad that God is answering our prayers for her. Sunday afternoon we had the baby shower and a buffet lunch with all the ladies from the church. Amber was actually truly surprised. I was so worried someone would accidentally tell her, but everyone kept the secret very well :)  On Monday Me, Amber, Kara and Shelly went shopping. We went to just about every store in Ft. Walton beach. I got some new clothes to fit the a.b.b. (after baby body) 

-I was very motivated to lose some weight while we were on vacation (worst time ever!) because my Mom and Dad as well as Shelly have all been losing weight (momma you look great!). That is another post for another time though. I really really enjoyed shopping with the girls. I have been seriously missing hanging out with other females lately. Tuesday we went with Kara and she tried on some wedding gowns. She already knows the kind she wants, but she was looking at what size and if the shop had the dress she likes. Kara looks beautiful in every gown she tries on. It made her upcoming marriage seem more real. I am really going to feel old when my little sister gets married. I am excited for her though. Wednesday my Mom, Amber and I went to Old Navy, Ann Taylor Loft, and Victorias Secret. Thanksgiving day we had tons of good food and then we went to the mullet festival grounds (yes, Niceville has a mullet festival) and Jakob just ran and ran. Everything except the parking lot is fenced in so it was nice to let him run wherever he wanted. Jeremy and Dallas flew Abi and Carissa's big kite and us girls played frisby. The guys threw the football while we sat and watched. Finally Jakob was getting a little fussy so me and Abi took him home and ate some more food! Saturday we went looking for decorations for Kara's wedding. She is getting married in November, so everything is kinda Christmas-ee themed. (Pine and poinsettas and silver and blue) so we went to Michaels and Old Time Pottery to see what was on sale. We did a lot of shopping and a lot of hanging out. Jeremy got to go hunting with his boss from JG and he shot a deer, so he was happy. We had such a good time with our parents, sisters, brothers in law (and brother in law to be) and it was very hard to leave. Especially because we are not gonna be able to go back up for Christmas. I cried when we left my Mom's house on Saturday night, and I cried again when we left Jeremy's Mom's house on Sunday morning. While we were there we learned about a cheap flight from Miami to Ft. Walton beach that flies once a day so hopefully we can visit again soon and not have to drive for 10 hours! I am so thankful that God allowed us to go home for a visit, I think we both needed it more than we knew. 

Guess what I can do???

my son has learned a new skill

he thinks it's really cool

to climb into his toy box

and throw most everything out onto the floor

little stinker :)

                                           (he did this right after I had just cleaned up too)

O.k., so I did it. I made an appointment with an RE down here for the 10th of December. Yeah, they got me in that fast. I don't know if that's a good sign or not. I guess I can take heart in the fact that their office is in a big city and there's quite a few RE's there. This appointment will be so different than any I've ever gone to. This appointment has nothing to do with getting pregnant. I just want a normal period. In one way it feels like there's so much less pressure (than IVF appointments) but in another way it feels like all the pressure is on (not having a period sucks!)  If you have not had irregular periods then I doubt you can know how frustrating it is, or that you still deal with pms symptoms, except they come and go and you never really get rid of them. I decided to skip the GYN all together because I want a doctor who is educated about crazy menstrual cycles and knows about hormone imbalances so they can actually help. All that GYN's want to do is stick me on birth control. Unfortunately I am not the common case and that doesn't work. Anyways...we'll see what happens.

Whenever Jakob picks up something (that is not edible, or should not be consumed) and tries to put it in his mouth I say ewww! eck! yucky! and he has learned what yucky means. Sometimes he will pick something up, bring it to me and say eck! which means yucky. Last night I cooked spanish pork, roasted potatoes and turnip greens for dinner. Jakob was getting fussy, so I picked him up and took him to the stove to fix his plate. I put the potatoes on his plate, then the pork. He kinda looked at me funny. Then I put the greens on his plate. He looked at me and said "eck!" I busted out laughing. No, when he is able to understand that is not acceptable he will not be able to tell me my food is yucky. Right now though it's so funny to get a little glimpse inside that baby head of his. He did not think my dinner looked very good at all. (It was very tasty by the way!)

4 days...