20 questions...

So I told the kids at the daycare that tomorrow we will find out if the baby is a girl or a boy. What's funny is most of the boys said they want it to be a girl, and the girls want a boy. I was asked if they were gonna cut the baby out ( I hope not!!!), and of course "how much longer till it comes:"( I get that one almost every day) One little boy named Hunter asked me if I'd be back tomorrow after my doctors appointment. I told him no. Then he said , "well, where are you going?" and I said, "to my home, I'll be back on Monday." He looked a little dissapointed. Then I said "Ms. Kara is going to see the baby with me tomorrow, so when she gets to school (daycare) you can ask her if the baby is a boy or girl." He said o.k. Then, two seconds later he said, "can I go find Ms. Kara and ask if the baby is a boy or girl?" (oh brother!!!) I had to remind him that Ms. Kara doesn't know yet, ask her tomorrow. This is why parents don't tell their kids things till the day of. The kids were also telling me at lunchtime today what color they want the baby's hair to be. I heard brown, white, gray, and the most interesting...purple and pink. Hopefully they'll be able to definitely tell whether we have a boy or girl on the way, so the questions can subside :) I'm very excited, and I'll be letting you all know as soon as I can. Love you all. -Me

New belly pic...

O.k., so I don't know why blogger put these photos up backwards, but obviously you know the first photo is a recent one. The pic with the green shirt was at 6 weeks. The photo with the purple shirt was taken tonight. (18 and a half weeks). Jeremy took the picture and said "yep, you really look pregnant." The girls at work keep telling me that I don't really look pregnant, I keep telling them, "Oh, so I just look like I've put on a few pounds???" Friday I have an appointment with Dr. Hennessey. They're gonna do the ultra-sound and we're gonna try to find out what the sex of the baby is. People keep acting shocked that I want to find out, and I don't really understand it. I like to be prepared, and this is a first baby, so I want to know what kind of crib set to buy and what color to paint the room. I don't want anything nuetral. If it's a boy I want his room to be very boyish, if it's a girl I want pink and flowers and everything girly. Secondly I just think it will be so neat to know whether my son or daughter is in my tummy right now. Jeremy is convinced it's a girl... but we'll see. It is raining once again outside. I think half of my coworkers may not be able to get to work tomorrow. People that live in Baker, or even certain parts of Crestview are getting flooded out to where they cannot get to Niceville/Val-P. Yesterday we went to visit with Jeremys parents, and the river was so high that the park next to it had water all the way up to the top of the picnic tables. I don't think we had as much rain all of last summer as we've had in the last week here. (I think they said 9 inches just on Saturday) Well, Jillian told me I hadn't posted a belly pic in a while, so this one's for you Jill. My friend Dana had her embryo transfer today, so she has officially started her 2 week wait. I'm hoping and praying that she will be pregnant soon. Hope you are all having a good week. I'm glad mine is almost through tomorrow! I'll write again and let everyone know what we find out on Friday. Love, -Me

Happy fifth anniversary to us!!!

Today Jeremy and I celebrate 5 years of marriage. As you can see we've both changed quite a bit from this time in 2004. Since it's my anniversary, I thought I'd write down "our story". Jeremy and I met in the summer of 2002. There was a new family at our church who had just moved from Phoenix, Az. I thought their son was absolutely adorable. He was very shy though. He didn't really talk to anybody or anything, so I didn't know if I'd ever get to meet him (I was also shy when it came to guys). Come to find out this family (the Prestons) had been stationed here at Eglin, Afb when their son was little. My mom already knew these people! Mrs. Preston (my mother-in-law) found out that I was in beauty school and asked if I'd put some color on her hair. I said yes, and we made a date for her to come to my house and I'd do it. So the day came and Amber was teasing me saying "do you think she'll bring her cute son along with her"??? I was like "no, she wouldn't do that" "he wasn't invited or anything". Well, when she arrived Amber looked out the window and said "her son's here too!!!" I thought she was joking at first, then when I saw she was serious my heart started pounding and I thought I was gonna throw up. Jeremy was so cute watching Dumbo with Carissa (2) and Abigail who was just a few months old. I liked his personality, he wasn't one of those guys who always had to be "cool", he was just himself. Sadly, a month or two after I met him Jeremy was headed back to the University of Arizona to go to school, summer break was over. We went to lunch with them the day before he left and again I just thought he was so nice, and so real. "Oh well", I thought that's the end of that little crush. About two or three months after this I came home from school and my mom said "guess who's moving back here?" and of course I had no clue. Yep, Jeremy Preston was moving back to the area, and I have to admit I was soooo happy. It took a long time (or so it seemed in my mind) for us to even meet up so I could say hi. I kept trying to place myself near him at church, but he'd come right before it started, and leave right after it ended. I didn't know then that Jeremy had broken off a relationship in Az. that he knew God did not want him in, and left the school because he knew it was not what God wanted for his life. He was in a hard time in his life, having to suck it up and admit that he had made some bad choices. I had no clue though, I just assumed he was not interested in me whatsoever. One day his mom came to me and asked me for my e-mail address. (this still makes me smile) I received an e-mail from Jeremy a few days later asking me if I wanted to go to a high school football game with him. Of course I said yes. I still remember that night we were talking, and I had lost a very close friendship, and was just telling Jeremy that I didn't have much going on at the moment, and he said "me either, maybe we'll be able to keep each other company." You obviously know the rest. We dated for 6 months and then got engaged (on March 27,2003). After being engaged for a year we married on March 27,2004. My wedding was a fairy tale, in fact, my life was a fairy tale. Everything went so easy for me with finding Jeremy (I know he's who God had for my life). After the wedding is when life happens. Our marriage is not always perfect. We are both human, and human beings mess up. We can be insensitive, or selfish or just plain out a pain in the butt. Our infertility has brought up issues that can ruin marriages. Financial pressure, physical problems, emotional pain, but I believe it has brought us closer in our marriage. We've had to lean on God, and each other. There are things we've experienced that no one else can know. There's a line in the movie "Fireproof" where the guy says something like "you don't let your heart lead you, you lead your heart" and I couldn't agree more. We choose to love someone. When times get tough we cannot give up and choose to stop loving that person. We have to fight for our marriage. It helps that I am 100% sure that Jeremy is the man God had for my life. I thank God for the 5 years we've had together, and pray he will give us many more. I Love you babe!

A Crazy day and some test results...

So I know that alot of you are waiting to hear what the results of my parvo test were. Before I tell you that I have to tell you what happened in between having the blood drawn and actually getting the results. You can tell me in your opinion if you think I have been a pain in the butt over this or not... On Friday I had called the doctors office and they said the results were not in yet, but that they would leave my folder on the nurse's desk and she "might have time" to look me up on her computer and see if they had run my blood, and not faxed over the results yet. Well, they didn't call on Friday, which I kind of expected. On Monday afternoon I got a call from a nurse, and she said she looked me up and they hadn't processed my bloodwork yet. She reminded me that it can take up to a week to get these results back. O.k, so I'm thinking I should get my results the next day, that is one week past my appointment. No phone call on Tuesday. I decided that if they didn't call me on Tuesday I would call on Wednesday and ask again. On Wednesday I called and the nurse had to call me back. She said she looked me up on the computer and they hadn't processed my bloodwork yet. I told her that I was told it takes a week, and did she have any idea what the holdup could be??? The nurse then tells me that it can actually take up to two weeks to get these results back. I said "hold on a minute", "I've been told three different things three different times, and I'm really getting upset." "My child could be infected with this disease and nobody seems to care." By this time I'm blubbering like a baby. The nurse tells me to calm down and she'll call the lab. She calls me back and says no, they haven't run the blood, and she can't help me anymore than that. She says "I can't give you answers I don't have." I proceeded to tell her that I feel like I'm getting the run around when I have something very precious at stake. Needless to say the nurse wasn't very happy with me. I've tried to keep my calm through this, because I need to have a good relationship with these nurses for the next 5 months, but I think pitching a fit and crying like a baby was the only way to get anyone to pay attention and at least make a little effort. So today I got a phone call. Five daycare teachers, two parents of daycare kids and over 30 children were all squeezed into a small interior room as we were on lockdown because of a tornado on the base, headed toward the daycare. It was loud, the kids were bored, they had no idea why we were in this room, and why they couldn't get up and play. The base tornado sirens were going off, though thankfully we couldn't hear them or the kids would have been scared. The nurse ( the same one I talked to yesterday) called to say my bloodwork showed an immunity to the parvo virus, that I'd been infected when I was younger. (Thank the Lord!!! and little Nick Junger) I could tell the nurse wasn't very happy with me, but you know what? OH WELL. This has been so frustrating, if they had told me it took two weeks to get results, I would have waited. (not happily, but you do what you've gotta do) But I've been told "Oh, they'll be here on Friday" then, "it takes a week" then "it can take up to two weeks" all I ask is that people tell me the truth. Don't sugar coat things. I really felt like I was just getting blown off. (this totally made me miss my RE in Pensacola, I kept telling Jeremy "this never would have happened if I was still seeing Dr. Ripps) Anyways, long story short, I don't have the virus (!!!) and the tornado never hit the daycare so everything turned out all right. Now I can breathe a little easier and once again enjoy my pregnancy as I did before this last week and a half. Thanks for all the prayers. I really appreciate every one of them.

Petition to Protect Pro-Life Doctors...

Our new president wants to remove a "conscience clause" that gives doctors and nurses the right to refuse to perform abortions if it goes against their moral conscience. If this is done, christian doctors and nurses who refuse to participate in abortions will be fired on the spot (where is their freedom of choice???). There is not much talk about this move, as I think they know there will be a great uproar if it is known. The American Center for Law and Justice has a petition that they are collecting signatures for, and they will deliver it to the White House. There is only about a two week period before they will start trying to push this initiative through, so if you feel strongly about this subject please go to http://aclj.org/ and sign this online petition. It is time that we as believers take a stand and make our voices heard.

No News...

I called the doctors office today. -I wanted to call before they left for the weekend, cause they leave at noon on Fridays.- The girl I talked to said they hadn't gotten the results from the lab yet about my bloodwork. She said that they're "very busy" but that she'd put my chart in the back, and if the nurse had time she could look me up on the computer and see if they had my results, and they just hadn't been faxed over yet. Well, it's now 12:30 and I didn't get a call, so I guess the results weren't in yet. I'm still kinda amazed that this could be a pretty big issue, and yet no one seems to be in much of a rush to find out if I have this virus or not. I had someone (who will remain nameless, she doesn't read this blog either) tell me yesterday that "you know Shauna you can get stuff anywhere you go, you can't just lock yourself up and not do anything..." I'm not angry with this person, she's just showing that she has absolutely no clue what all I've been through. This may turn out to be nothing, and I'll be thankful for that, but until the results are in I will worry about it. I've been through physical sickness, needles in my rearend, and lots of heartache to get this baby here to this place and time. I know all pregnant women worry, but those of us who've struggled with infertility have a whole lot of time and emotion invested in these little people. I cannot just "get pregnant" I think the whole infertile mindset never really goes away. I will hold my breath until this baby is delivered, and then I know as a mother I will worry and have to trust the Lord for the rest of his/her life. Whew!, that was a long way of saying that the results are not in yet. Oh well. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. I cried when I read the encouraging notes from all of you. I know that my baby's life is in God's hands, and those are the best hands to be in.

A prayer request...

Ok, so as much as I'd love to just not write this post, I feel like I've been open about everything else that relates to this journey, I might as well share this with you guys too. When I'm worried about something, it's always just easier to put it out of my mind then to dwell on it. I really need you guys to pray for me, and for the baby which is why I decided to tell you what's going on. Yesterday I went in to work, and it started out like any other day. Around 8:30 my boss asked me to come in her office, and I'm thinking, "oh great, what have I done that I'm gonna get in trouble." My boss then tells me that there's a child at the daycare who has had Parvo virus, also known as "Fifths Disease." It's not the parvo virus that you get your pets vaccinated from, it's a different strain that animals don't get. (and we don't get theirs) Just about every person in the world will get this virus at one point or another, and it's really not that bad. There are little to no symptoms, and the only way you can usually tell a child has had this is that they get a rash on their face that looks like they've been slapped on both cheeks. The child who's at the daycare also has a rash all over his arms and legs. Once the rash has appeared the child is no longer contagious, and is o.k. to be around the other kids. I said this virus is not that bad, that is unless you are a person with a weak immune system, or a pregnant woman.... Hence my problem. If I contract this virus it will not hurt me, but it can hurt the baby, causing anemia for him/her and other complications. So, my boss gives me a little booklet and said "You need to read this, it's gonna make you very upset and scare you to death, but you need to call your doctor and tell them you've been exposed to this virus. So, I glance through the booklet, and get to the part about pregnancy, and the effect this virus could have on the baby. I was shaken, and very upset, but trying to hold it together. One of my co-workers who didn't know what was going on asked me "are you ok?" and then of course the tears started to flow. I called the doctors office around 9:00 and the girl told me to come right in, they would do a blood test and check to see if I have an immunity to the virus (which about 50% of people already have by the time they're adults) they'll also know if I've recently had the virus, or if I don't they'll have to keep doing blood tests to make sure I don't get it. The part that made me so upset is that the child that has this isn't in my class, but at the time he was contagious I was with them for a few hours a day, so I have been exposed. We also have a few pregnant mothers in the daycare who have to go get tested as they have been exposed also. The thing that really makes me angry is that the doctor told this child's parent that he had a virus, but he was not contagious anymore, so don't worry about it. He didn't tell her to inform the daycare, even though we have little babies and people like myself who need to get tested, and be under observation from a doctor. UUUGGGHHH! So now I'm questioning, did I make the right decision when I came to work here? I really felt like it was God's will for me, but nothing and I mean nothing is worth endagering my baby. It's very hard, because I want to be angry at someone, but it's really no ones fault. There's no way anyone could have known this kid had this virus. Jeremy was very upset when I told him, he wanted me to quit on the spot. So I went to the doctors office, and they got me in at 9:30. (I now weigh 130 lbs.!!! that's a weight gain of 4 lbs. so far) I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat, which is the most beautiful sound in the world. His/her heartbeat was strong and beating about 146bpm. The nurse said you really can't tell if it's a boy or girl by the bpm. She said she used to think you could, but she's been proven wrong many times. My blood pressure was sky high. I know the bottom number was 94, normal for me is 70. The nurse said, I know you're upset, but once you talk to the doctor you'll feel much better. Well, they were so so busy and I didn't get to see Dr. Hennessey. This girl, who I've never seen before, I think she's a P.A. or an intern or something came in. Long story short is she didn't reassure me at all. All she kept saying is "well, we can't really make any conclusions until the blood test comes back," or "just try not to worry until we get the results back" -easier said than done.(!!!) I know she can't tell me my baby will be fine, but I'm sure doctor Hennessey would have helped calm me down, and make me feel more positive about the situation. So here I am, waiting till Friday (they said the results might be back on Friday) to find out if my child has been affected by this stupid virus that no one knows they have. My boss told me to take off from work till I get the results, she said I don't need anymore stress on me than I already have. I haven't been thinking about it today, until I sat down to write this post, so I haven't been worrying all that much. All I can do is pray, God gave me this child, and there are so many dangers out in the world, I just have to trust him to keep this child safe and sound. -the trusting part is not so easy, I don't know why it's easier to worry than to trust.- Please just keep my little one in your prayers. Thanks -Me

Beach pics...

Here are some pictures from our trip to the beach yesterday. For those of you who live, or have lived around here we went over by the Crab Trap in Destin. It's not my favorite place to go because of all the hotels and people (usually we go out where the base owns the beach, and just park on the side of the road...no hotels, no construction, it's gorgeous) this time though, I was glad we were near bathrooms, cause I knew I wouldn't make it without one. It was a little windy, but that didn't stop Carissa and Abi from wearing their bathing suits, I'm gonna wait another month or two before I'm ready for that. As most of you know we don't get much spring weather around here, usually it goes from 30 or 40 degrees to about 80 or 90. We have to enjoy these beautiful days while they last. The pictures on a camera cannot really show just how beautiful our beaches are. The sand looks like sugar, and I guess it's cause I grew up here I just love the smell of the ocean. It is so calming for me to be out there. I was a bonehead and didn't wear any sunscreen, so I did get a little bit of a sunburn, but I'm o.k. I kept telling my mom, "if my face starts to feel hot I'll put some on." Well, I guess because of the wind I never felt like I was getting alot of sun on my face, but when I got home and looked in the mirror I looked like a lobster. Oh well. I will be more careful next time. My first trip of the year to the beach turned out to be very good. Can't wait till the next one!!!

Four months...

Well y'all, I've officially made it to month number four! I am very excited about this simply because I am out of that first trimester. My nausea is almost gone, I hadn't had any at all for about two weeks until yesterday when I woke up with it. I still throw up almost every time I brush my teeth though. (I'm sure you're all so happy that I shared) It's something about my gag reflex, once it's started it doesn't stop. On the work front, things are going ok. I told my mom that every Thursday when I leave and I'm not sick I just say a little prayer and thank God. We are sending kids home left and right with fevers, and puking and all kinds of strange things. This happened last year also, but I wasn't quite so concerned. I've been lysoling all the toys and doorknobs and anything the kids might touch, they think it's cool to get hand sanitizer, so I use that constantly too. Poor Kara got the virus from one of the kids, and she was throwing up and having cramps and a fever, it lasted a little over 24 hours, and she just looked miserable. She's doing better now, and even bravely went back to work yesterday. The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous (minus the fog in the mornings). It's been around 75 and there's a slight breeze, I know we don't really get spring, but I like to pretend that this is it. I'm glad winter is almost over, I am not a cold weather girl. Well, the plans for today are not real certain. I might go with my family over to the beach. I'm really dying to go, not to go swimming of course!!! (though there are some crazy northerners out for spring break in their bikinis and stuff...no offence Jennifer or anyone else from up north) The beach is beautiful in this cooler weather. Pray for me that I won't get whatever this stuff is that everyone is passing around. Hope you all have a great weekend. Love, Me

Update on "baby P"...

I had a doctors appointment this morning. I was weighed for the first time since I went a month ago. (eeekkk!!!) I've gained two pounds, and I'm o.k. with that, I think it's pretty normal. My clothes are starting to get a little snug, not tight, but it still irritates my stomach to have a waistband around it. I think I'm gonna go looking for some clothes with elastic waistbands till I get large enough to wear maternity clothes. They used the little doppler thing to listen to the baby 's heartbeat. The girl told me that sometimes it takes a few minutes to find the heartbeat, so don't be worried if I don't hear it right away. The minute she put the doppler on my stomach we heard a good strong heartbeat. It just makes me want to cry, scream, laugh, I still just can't believe it. The baby's heartrate was 156bpm. I'm not gonna assume it's a girl or boy, and I don't have to because a month from now (April 3rd) we're going to have an ultrasound and try to find out what our little one is! I'm just still so amazed that there is a little person growing and living inside my body. I cannot thank God enough for this great miracle he has given us. Abigail was so cute this morning, she rubbed my stomach and said "be very gentle with your mommy, o.k. baby," then she said "the baby says yes, aunt abi." I'm very excited, not only for myself, but also for my family who are eagerly awaiting the arrival of baby Preston.