Yesterday was “one of those days.” I woke up with a really bad migrane brewing
(one of the side effects of my thyroid acting up again). I got up around 7:30 a.m. but was slowly getting about my day. I got a call at 8 something that the carpet guy (who was supposed to come out a few months ago and never did) was finally coming to fix the carpet that Jakob had ruined with the bleach. The carpet guy said he’d be at my house in about 15 minutes. -I had actually called Monday to find out what day and time he would come, but of course he wasn’t available and never called back so I was not prepared for him yesterday morning.- I had to rush around get out of my pj’s, get Jakob out of his pj’s, tidy up the house a bit, all the things I was “getting to” but hadn’t done yet because I was dealing with a major headache! Jakob of course had no idea what was going on with me, but seemed to undo things as quickly as I fixed them yesterday. I spent a good portion of the morning following behind him and picking up. I had been getting texts Tuesday and Wednesday about Denise and the condition of her health. I had no idea that her cancer had progressed so badly or that the doctors had said they really could do nothing else to help her. This was on my mind constantly. I have known “Mr. Jeff” (sorry, but I’ve known him so long I still think of him that way) basically my whole life. I have been so worried about him. So worried about Jonathan, he’s so young to lose his mother. So worried about Denise. Yesterday all I could do was talk to God. No, not really talk, but cry. The only thing I knew to ask was that God would be with them. Imagining myself in their situation I could only think that this is the time when I would need God to make himself known in my life. Death is scary. It is unknown to us. I know that when we wake up (after death) we will be in heaven, and we will be so happy, but the process of dying can be frightening. Losing a loved one is so hard. Losing a loved one at a young age, a loved one who served the Lord and lived a good life is really hard to understand. I pray God will be more real to Denise than he ever has before. I pray he is right beside her holding her hand. I pray that God will be with Jeff and Jonathan and comfort them when the pain is almost too much to bear. I pray he will give peace when the questions come. During the middle of the day I sat down and started to read 2 Corinthians chapter 5. I needed to be reminded of God’s promises to us. This morning I read 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 which says : But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Lately the Lord has been reminding me a lot that he’s in control. I am so thankful that I can turn to him in any situation, but especially in situations where it is hard to see his plan. I know that I can trust him, even though his plan doesn’t make sense to me. Even though I had “one of those days” yesterday I was blessed and comforted by the Word of God. I was blessed in the realization that God will be there to comfort my friends. I know it’s not that simple, and that when bad things happen we will hurt, we will question, we may even doubt, but I know that God is patiently waiting for us to look to him and he won’t leave us alone.
