A Mother's misguided prayer...

Matthew 20:20- Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him.

20:21- And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.

20:22- But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.

20:23- And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father. 

My (new) Pastor taught out of this text on Sunday night and titled it: 

"A Mother's misguided prayer." 

Sunday being Mother's day I had already been contemplating my own Mother and what she meant to me. The choir sang Sunday morning a song about Mothers and part of the chorus said "you were there to hold me when my heart was in pain" or something like that and I remembered all the nights of crying in my Mom's arms not understanding why my life was going the way it was. Not understanding why God would not give me a child. My Mom would reassure me that God had a plan and promise me that one day I'd look back and see that. In the verses above Zebedees wife, (who historically is shown to be an Aunt of Jesus Christ, meaning her sons were Jesus cousins) came to Jesus and asked him something for her sons. She wanted her sons to be high in Jesus kingdom. What Mother wouldn't want great things for her sons? Jesus pointed out that  Zebedee's wife did not understand what she was asking of the Lord. This Mother was thinking of her sons being close to the Lord Jesus Christ. What she was not considering was the cost of her children being close to the Lord. Throughout the Bible and throughout history people have paid a high price for their closeness with the Lord. The Apostles were murdered, hung, beheaded for their close walk with the Lord. Men like Martin Luther and Paul Bunyan were persecuted and thrown in jail. The road to closeness with the Lord is not always an easy one. Sometimes God puts us through trials as he shapes us and molds us into what he wants us to be. Fanny Crosby, one of the great hymn writers of all times was blind, yet she never ceased to thank the Lord for her blindness. Many great hymns were penned out of a broken heart. Should we ask God not to let our children go through pain, that he give them an easy road? To ask this of God would be to possibly miss out on the great things God has for our children's lives. The great people he would make them to be for him. Of course no Mother wants her child to suffer, but we as Mother's must ask God to give us the strength and courage to let him mold our children, our loved ones into what he wants them to be. That brought me back again to my own Mother. Of course she would have loved to take away my pain in infertility. She could have given me money and said here, go have everything done that you can. She didn't though. She held my hand and prayed for me and encouraged me, and wiped my tears. I'm not saying that I've been through the ultimate trial, because I know I haven't. I have seen and continue to see others with great trials looming over them. I also know though that God used my trial to show me my own weakness. To teach me to depend on him. I am glad that my mother let God work in my life and helped me to trust God's plan. I hope and pray when the time comes for God to work in Jakob's life that I can trust God's hand and let him mold my precious son into the young man that He can use and that will make a difference in eternity. 

(I cannot do justice to the message Pastor Reed taught, but those are some thoughts

that I got out of it and wanted to share)

Jeremy's resume made the certification, now we're just waiting on a phone call for an interview...

Hannah's prayer...

Hannah prayed for the child she had longed for

Crying out to God for a son

She promised she'd give

The child she would rear

For God's perfect will to be done

For this child I have prayed and the Lord he has heard

And has given me all that I asked

He sent life from above

Wrapped in blankets tied with love

I knew joy when I held you that day

Like Hannah I had prayed to God for children

Wishing I could sing sweet lullabies

I longed to hold a child, rocking in my arms each night

I see an answer to prayer when I look into your eyes

 For this child I have prayed and the Lord he has heard

And has given me all that I asked

He sent life from above

Wrapped in blankets tied with love

I knew joy when I held you that day

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends...

I am rejoicing in the fact that Cat and Dana are celebrating this Mother's Day along with me. You both, including Ruthie and Noah will always hold a special place in my heart <3

Road Trip...

So me and Amber decided to drive down to Florida for Kara's graduation. The only person I told that we were coming was Jeremy's mom, and that was because she was coming our way that weekend and I needed her to know me and Jakob would not be at home. It was so much fun surprising my parents because I think they were not expecting it at all. It was nice to have all the sisters together, though me and Amber wished our hubby's could be there with us too. We had a great time having family dinners and going to church together. I got to shop with my sisters and an old friend and we had a really great week. We didn't get to go to the beach because the first of the week it rained soooo much. After that me, my Mom, Abi, Carissa and Kara all got that horrible stomach virus and were basically bed ridden on Wednesday and Thursday. We all just layed around- the little girls watching movies in their bedroom and us big girls watching hgtv all day. Thursday night was Kara's graduation from high school / first 2 years of college. All week Abigail had been saying that she was gonna move to Maryland with Amber, or move to Georgia with me. I had a feeling it would be hard for her when we left. This morning me and Amber went into her room and kissed her and told her bye. It was 5:30 in the morning, so she was groggy and said bye. A few minutes later, right before we left she came running out of the bedroom with tears streaming down her face to give us hugs. It broke my heart. She couldn't even talk she was crying so much. I don't know what it was about this week, I think maybe the fact that I wasn't rushing to go here and there, and I got to enjoy hanging out with my family, but I miss them so much right now. This week made me want to live closer and be able to visit with them more. We are still praying about the job situation. I know that God has a perfect will for us, and I'm trusting him to show it to us. The jobs in Florida that Jeremy applied for closed on the 5th of May. They are already reviewing the applications, so we are waiting to hear about that. We have had a few people look at our house, and one guy actually wanted to buy it, but it didn't work out. At least traffic has picked up on it and people are viewing it. I am excited about my first Mother's Day (with Jakey outside the womb :) and am so thankful for the Mother and Mother-in-law God has given me. I am so blessed

Eight months old...

I'm gonna try to make a list of things that Jakob is doing these days...but sometimes I think it'd be easier to write down what he's not doing! This little boy is growing so fast.

*He's been crawling for almost 3 months now, so he's an old pro at that

*He pulls up on the couch, his toy boxes, his crib, and the bathtub...that's causing mama to have to discipline already (he's already fallen head first in the tub so we had to stop that)

*He knows and recognizes the words "no" and "sit down" in the bathtub when he tries to stand up I will tell him "Jakob no" and "sit down" and he'll usually act like he's gonna stand up, then sit on his bottom :) 

*He loves to be outside- we have a little porch on the front of the apartment and he loves to go out there and play with his toys. When I open the back door for air to come in he crawls up to the screen and just stares outside or tries to push open the screen with his head. 

*Speaking of pushing things with his head, my son is like a bull in a china shop, if he's crawling and something is in his way he just puts that little head down and tries to bulldoze through...it's funny

*Last night he started "walking" down the couch, while holding on of course

*He doesn't like normal sippy cups, he likes the kind with straws, and yes he drinks out of a straw

*He'd much rather drink out of mommy and daddy's water bottles

*Jakob thinks any food we're eating must surely be better than baby food. If we're eating dinner and it's veggies and soft meat that he can eat I usually just feed him off my plate and skip the baby food. He LOVES to eat

*Jakob is highly allergic to eggs at this point. Not eggs in cookies or bread or anything like that, just straight eggs

*I don't know how much he weighs right now because he has been pretty healthy and doesn't have to go to the doctor till 9 months for a well check, but he is pretty heavy

*He's is wearing 12-24 month clothes from Carter's. The shorts are a little tight on his chubby boy legs unless I get them big. (and they make the waistlines for skinny babies) Maybe Carter's should have a "husky" brand

*The other day I saw two little teeth marks on his arm, yes he was biting himself...lol

*One time this week he went to the back of the house (I was doing laundry) he was very quiet so I got nervous and went to check on him. He had pulled out a bunch of stuff and then fallen asleep on the carpet

 *I have noticed him "singing" with his Sesame Street DVD lately, he doesn't make any noise, he just moves his mouth and has a very serious look on his face, it is hilarious...and so sweet

*Every church service Jakob goes right to the nursery worker and they do not have to page me at all. He loves going to the nursery. Last time when I picked him up my friend Alisha's little girl came out saying "Jakob, Jakob" and pointing to the nursery. I guess he is already making friends.

This little guy keeps me on my toes. The living room starts out clean every morning and about 20 minutes into the day every toy bucket is dumped over, the dvd's are spread out all over the room. He is such a sweetheart though. He laughs out loud when you make funny faces, and sometimes when I'm nursing him I'll grab his arm and pull it up and he starts giggling cause he thinks I'm gonna tickle him. I love this little guy and can't imagine how we lived life without him. :)

The job post...

I am gonna post about the job situation here. I know that it is gonna sound like I am being really negative about it, and maybe even seem like we won't be happy anywhere, but seriously I am loving living here. The area is gorgeous, the people are friendly. We love everything about Cartersville...

Except the job at the Lake. I try not to discuss this much, or even think about it because it makes me very mad that we moved up here, and I actually love it here, and we will be leaving as soon as Jeremy can get another job offer. Yep, that's right I said it. We will soon be leaving. When Jeremy interviewed for the job and even drove up here to visit they told him that he would have to do some "legal" paperwork for the lake, but that it would be only about 2% of the work he does here. The rest would be with wildlife and forestry management on the property. Well, since he's been working there he has spent about 99% of his time doing the legal paperwork and the remaining 2% doing Park Ranger work assisting visitors and stuff like that (which he kind of enjoys). The other day they gave him his position description and it included most of his time for legal paperwork and 2 days a year for forestry work. 2 Days!!! You can call it fudging the truth, but I consider it a lie. The fact is that they have to have a biologist on staff, because there are things they are legally bound to do according to federal law and they hired Jeremy so they can claim they're doing them, but all along they intended to use him for something else. That's fine, as long as you are honest with us. My husband is a hard worker. He is not content to make money and get nothing accomplished (these people are). He is passionate about conservation and good stewardship of the land we have and he's not o.k. with working this job. To be honest if he had known what they expected he wouldn't have taken this job even if it made more money. More and more he's seeing that these people are not really honest in anything they do. One guy was driving around (in a gov. vehicle) texting somebody. Jeremy said "dude, that is so illegal" and the guy said "well, we do it all the time, there's gonna be alot of things you'll learn we can do while you're here." When he fills out his time card they want him to claim he's done wildlife work, even though he hasn't because when they report at the end of the year they say they've done "x" numbers of manhours in wildlife management and they need people's time cards to show it. There are just so many things wrong at this office. (Jeremy has said that he's gonna report what he actually did on his time card, they are not gonna turn him in for not lying on it.) They have had 9 people quit or transfer in the last 2 years from this place, and obviously you can kinda see why.  As I said it really stinks that the job turned out this way because I would love to stay here. There is just no hope right now of things getting better (the problem is in the management, and their way of thinking) so Jeremy has already been applying for other jobs. When he went and gave his presentation in Pensacola there were a lot of high ranking people there. One guy is a big boss for the USDA (department of agriculture) and he wants Jeremy to come work for them. He told Jeremy that there are 3 openings in Florida right now, and he wants to see his resume on his desk. Don't get me wrong, this is not consuming my thoughts, but I think it really stinks that we may have to leave here so soon, but then again I want Jeremy to be happy at work, seeing as how he spends so much time there. I am just praying about it. God worked out our move here, and I have been happy, if it's his will we leave again he will work it out and I'll still be happy. I simply wanted to put my heart out there so you all will know what's going on and can pray for us if you happen to think of it. If they give Jeremy a hard time about the time card stuff he may have to go to somebody above their heads which will cause a big stink, so pray for wisdom for him too. Until something changes we will enjoy our time here in Cartersville and make the most of every day :) 

Love you all.

Trip to Florida...

We are back home from our trip to Florida. Everything went very well. We only had to stop once on the way up and back to feed Jakey and take him out of his car seat for a while. I'm sure sitting in one place for a long time gets old now that he's used to crawling around and going where he wants. Jeremy gave his presentation in Pensacola and even won an award for it, so I am very happy for him. He was nervous about it because it's not really his area of expertise, but he impressed the experts, so I know he did a good job. 

-We got to take Jakob to the beach on Monday. He slept for probably the first 20 minutes we were there. After he woke up we took him to the water, it was really really cold, like ice so he didn't care for that too much. He sure did love the sand though! He was eating it by the handfuls, I eventually gave up on trying to keep it out of his mouth. I'm sure a little beach sand never hurt anyone :) I also got to visit with Jill on Monday evening. It was so good to see her. It is so hard to know that one of my best friends is going through a hard time and I can't be there to support her. I know there's nothing I can physically do to help her feel better, but there's so many times I wish I could just hug her and be there with her and I can't. It was wonderful to finally get that hug! Tuesday we went to Destin and went shopping. Of course Jakob's grandma's made sure he was going home with some new summer clothes, which I am grateful for because the "little" guy needs 12-18 month clothes for the summer!!! Yes, he is wearing shorts and shirts that are 18 months and they are not too big on him. I definitely wasn't prepared for that. Most of the 12-18 months that we have for him are for cold weather, because that is when he will be a year and a half. 

-On Monday Jill had told me that she was losing alot of hair, and that she knew it would happen, but she was surprised that it started happening so fast. I told her that I didn't know how she would feel about it, but from what I've seen women seem to feel better about themselves when they go ahead and cut off their hair once it starts falling out very heavy. Of course I would never tell her what she should do, everyone is different, but it was just something to think about. Tuesday Jillian called me. She was ready to go ahead and cut all her hair off. She said she was pretty sure that by Wednesday most of it would be gone anyways. I told her I'd come over once we returned home. As I hung up the phone I felt like somebody punched me in the stomach. I know that hair is just hair. As a former hairdresser I've had good haircuts and bad, I know that it grows back. I also know as a woman that it would be hard to lose your hair. I didn't know what kind of emotional state Jillian was in, we'd only talked for a few seconds. I didn't know if she was emotionally ready to handle this or not, she's had so much sprung on her in the last couple of months. I knew that with or without hair Jillian is beautiful. She has a beautiful spirit about her. I was dreading what this would do to my friends spirit. When we got back to Niceville I dropped everyone off at my mom's house and headed to Jills. In the car I was praying and asking God for help. I knew that if Jillian was sad about this process that it would break my heart, it would be hard for me to do this thing. I needed to be strong for her. I asked God to give me the words of encouragement to say, help me not to say anything I shouldn't . I prayed the whole way. When I reached Jills house she was somber, but not emotionally distraught. She seemed ready emotionally to take this big step. I was so relieved to see her and as I cut and we talked I was just amazed at the grace God gave to her. I told her that her hair would look cute in a pixie cut, she told me yes, now I will get my way, as her hair grows back in it will be short (I like her hair short!) We talked about how you don't really understand what it would be like to lose your hair until you've been there. How we as women complain about things like a bad hair day, or thin hair not understanding what some women have had to go through. When we finished I looked at her, and it was still Jillian. It was still my beautiful friend, and as we sat and talked she may have even looked more beautiful than I've ever seen her. She had a glow on her face and she radiated beauty that I believe comes from her closeness to the Lord. Jillian has not blamed God with her cancer. I'm sure there are questions, as there are when any of us go through a trial, but she trusts God with them. She has been given the "grace to help in time of need." I have been praying for Jill, and trusting God to heal her, but I came away from Florida with a peace in my heart knowing that my friend is trusting God, and he is providing for her. 

-Wednesday we took Jakob to a park in Niceville. There must have been a sailboat club meeting that day because there were 50 or 60 sailboats out in the bay. It was a gorgeous day and Jakob had a lot of fun playing with his aunts.  We went to Danny's fried chicken, which was the one place Jeremy said he "had" to eat while we were in Niceville. :)

-Thursday we spent some time with Jeremy's mom and then headed to Niceville and saw my family for a couple of hours and headed home. I think I got more of a vacation than Jeremy did, but in all his running around he did get to see friends from work so he had a good time too. While he was at the conference he was offered a job or two, but that's another post for another time.

That was our trip in a nutshell. I don't have many pictures because my batteries died in my camera and I never replaced them. My mom is supposed to e-mail pictures and I'll try to put some up. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Love you all

Just for Jill...

So...Jillian got on to me for not writing a blog in over a week!!! lol  I'm glad that she's feeling well enough to read up on blogs and get out and moving a little. Please keep her in your prayers as she battles this bone cancer. I am believing with her that the Lord is going to heal her. I cannot wait till her and Jarred can come up to Georgia and visit with us.

Blogger had been annoying me because either my pictures wouldn't load up or they upload super slow or I have no clue how to upload my videos now. Anybody know how to upload videos???  The little video button is no longer on my screen!!! Annoying! 

Me and Jakob have just been hanging out mostly. The weather is gorgeous outside, though it had been rather hot. Today the high is 71 degrees and the breeze is blowing and it's just beautiful outside(!) Jeremy's days off are Wednesday and Thursday so this last Wed. we went to the library. The Cartersville library is 3 stories and thankfully has an elevator so I can bring in my stroller with me. They have a very cute kids area with toys and books for every age. On Wednesday mornings they have a mommy-n-me time for birth to age 18 months. I'm thinking about going with Jakob. They only have a couple more in April then they pick back up with it in June. I'll probably wait till June. I put Jakob on the floor in there and started reading him some books, but he was more interested in playing with the giant stuffed dinosaur (no mom, don't get any ideas of giving me all of Abi's old dinosaurs!) Yesterday we got our tags switched over to Georgia, it still is so weird to look at my drivers liscence and see a giant peach on it. They sure do love their peaches here. We actually got a Georgia liscence plate with a Florida Gator on it though, so I'm happy about that. I've seen a couple people with UF on their Georgia tag and I thought it was cool. Yesterday evening we went fishing on the lake. It was fun, but we didn't get any bites. It was our first try and we didn't even really know where to go, but we tried. A bunch of teenagers came up and told us we were in the perfect spot, that the day before their friends caught all kinds of catfish there, but obviously the catfish just weren't hungry yesterday. Today Jakob and I met a girl from church her name is Alisha in downtown Cartersville for lunch. The downtown area is so pretty. It has all the old shops from back in the 1800's and old churches, it is really a neat place. We browsed around in some local shops and had lunch at an "organic natural" place. Though I did have a cuban sandwhich, but it is only grain fed beef, no steroids or whatever that stuff is. Alisha has a little girl who's almost 3 years old named Lexi, and she is the sweetest little thing! She has an angelic little face, and she's so easy going I just love her already. Alisha and her husband Dan were at the Mishoes house the other night when we went to watch the final four. I really like both couples and am excited about our new friendships. Sunday we leave for Florida. I am so ready to see my mom and dad and my sisters...and my in-laws, well, I'm excited to see everyone! I have not packed a thing and I've got laundry to do so we can take some stuff with us...that will consume the rest of my day today. I hope you all have a great weekend! 

Love ya! 

-Me 

My ramblings...

Here's the dress I got for Easter. I am soooo excited because this is the first dressy (non-maternity) clothes I've bought in over a year!!! I loooove my new shoes, though I really wanted a heel that was a little taller, but these shoes are gorgeous! Sorry y'all, but i haven't gotten to really dress up in a while, so I'm a little over enthusiastic :) 

We have been enjoying the gorgeous weather here, it's still been getting up into the high 70's low 80's but for now it has been cloudless and humidity-less! Gotta love that. My hair is not loving it though, when I wear it straight it has so much static in it. Wednesday we went to the state park that's about 5 minutes from the house and had a good time. It is just so pretty here. The parks are right next to the lake, with these huge boulders jutting out over the water...I love it! Jakob has started pulling himself into a standing position on the couch, the bed, it is so neat to watch him figure all this stuff out on his own. The bad part is that I don't have a t.v. stand, so he's already pulled the dvd player down on his head one time. I cannot take my eyes off him for very long. Jeremy's working this weekend, which really stinks, but we did get invited over to somebody's house tomorrow night, so I'm looking forward to that. Sunday me and Jake will go to church and Sunday is also one week till we go home to visit :) I am excited about that too. We're gonna take Jakey to the beach for the first time...that will be fun. Hope you all have a great Easter, and thank you God for sending your son to take my sin on himself and give me his righteousness!

Love you all!